Two days from now I leave for training camp. Training camp is a week long adventure in the Atlanta woods. I like to think of it as church camp times 20 cool points. It’s going to be filled with worship, teaching, games, challenges and the best part camping. Yup, straight up camping in a tent with my fellow squad mates around me. I am so stoked for this week. I have been looking forward to it since December and I can’t believe it’s really finally here.
After training camp I will come back home to quickly turn around and go on vacation with part of my family. This vacation will be great, a marvelous get-a-way to relax before I come back and have to fully face the idea that I am leaving.
I have a busy month of August and then that’s it. I have about 2 ½ weeks left of work in total. My brother is leaving in three weeks. I have too many people to say goodbye to and then I am on my way. 52 days and then that’s it.
My theme for this year is to “be brave.” Be brave when it looks scary. Be brave when you can’t see what’s ahead. Be brave when every little piece of you is telling you to freak out. Be brave so that you can look fear in the face and say that you do not own me. You do not control my thoughts. Being brave is more than just a word but a lifestyle, a mindset that won’t allow you to let that fear captivate you. It’s these days that I need to remind myself of that and practice it more than ever. You see, being brave is not just when you have to travel across the world. Being brave happens on the daily. Things come your way and you have to be brave. Whether it’s a new chapter, a new city, a new job, a new relationship you have to practice this mindset.
Two days from now I leave for training camp and I am terrified. Terrified about meeting all new people. Terrified of the things that these people will see of me in the next year. Terrified of the heart to hearts. Terrified of being a mess in front of people I barely know. Terrified of the things I will learn about myself. Terrified of the things I will leave behind. And frankly down right upset that life is going to move on without me here and it’s going to be fine without me. Life moves on. Seasons change and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Two days from now will be a small taste of what is to come and I am trying to hard to be brave. Please Lord, make me brave.
“You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way”
