Honestly, I really do not like to expect anything. I feel like when I expect something I either make it really lame or way too exciting. This next few months as I prepare for the World Race I want to take the expectations and throw them out the window. I want to be open and not discouraged when things don’t go the way I expect them too. I do have a few things that I am excited about… but these things are not expectations but rather realities. I know that through my willingness and determination I can get the best of this 11 months.
I am excited about living the simple life. When I lived in Uganda for 5 months I took 6 shirts, 3 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of basketball shorts for my daily wardrobe. I honestly thought as I packed for those few months that I was going to lose my mind with the limited amount of choices when I woke up in the morning. I found that to be quite the contrary. For one, my teammates had some awesome alternatives when I got annoyed by my limited choices. (Praise God for girl teammates with style) But I also found that it did not matter as much as I thought it would. Of course there were days that I would get upset but then I would remember where I am and what I am there for. I was not there to win best dressed Uganda I was there to serve and to serve it doesn’t require looking your best. Besides I don’t really know why I expected to look on some days when I only had a face mirror for 5 months.
I learned that taking showers in the cold is not so bad when you do it before the sun goes down. That squatting over a hole is not the end of the world. That eating the same meals over and over again wouldn’t ruin my taste buds. I learned that I am thankful for the gift of being able to sleep anywhere at anytime cause I slept like a baby almost every night despite the bats making noise on the ceiling. The simple life is beautiful and when you get back to your comforts it makes you feel a heck of lot more thankful for the life you were born into.
I am excited about living in community. Although living in community can be frustrating at times it is also so beautiful to have people see right through your masks and cover ups. My teammates in Uganda could tell me what was wrong with me before I knew what was wrong with me. They could pray for me before I even knew what I needed pray for. They truly understood me and for that I was so thankful. But then comes the not so beautiful part. The part when you can’t stand the way your roommate snores at night or they can’t stand the way you laugh in the middle of sleeping at night. (sorry future teammates) There are those points that you really wish you had a room to yourself when you wanted to go to sleep early but it wasn’t lights out yet. The frustrations are plenty and I am sure I will find more but that is all apart of the journey and growing experience. For that I am excited for.
I am excited to serve. This trip is not about me solving all the worlds issues but to simply come along side the ministries that are already in place and to assist them with whatever they need in that time. I plan on building relationships but also remembering the harsh reality that I will be leaving in a short time. Because I am not only effecting myself with getting too close but also the community of people that I am leaving. My plan is not to come in and take over but to simply come under the people and serve them in anyway I can in the short time I’m there. My plan is to give up what I would rather do, to do whatever they ask of me and more. I pray that I can be used in ways that only God can put together and that my clumsy selfish self will step aside and let God lead.
The fourth and most important thing I am excited for is for God to show up. The last three months of my trip to Uganda, God showed up major in my life but it was simply because I allowed Him too. We can limit this so much, y’all. The first two months I went with the flow of things and didn’t prioritize Him each morning. I had pride in myself, that I could do it to the point that I had to cry out to Him. I was over the honeymoon stage. I needed help to get through the last three months and He showed up quick. Rather I allowed Him to take over right before I would need Him the most in my entire life. He wants to build you and strengthen you through this journey. But you simply have to let go of yourself and allow Him to do that. God is not defined to a location like I thought He was. He wants that relationship at home and He wants that relationship when you are halfway across the world. I honestly think that is still the hardest lesson for me to learn. My relationship with God was so strong and live-giving overseas that it seems so much harder to attain here in the U.S. I realized that it just comes with how comfortable you are in a place. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. It’s just you that limits His interaction in your life.
I am so thankful that I have a chance to do this again. I am thankful that you all have the opportunity of joining me again. I am blessed.
