It all started because I am reading Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick,
Basically this book is taking my very personal insecurities, discouragements, fears, and condemnations, and showing them as lies from the devil. Its practically teaching me how to replace those deceptions with what God says. It seems to be all stuff I knew, but never actually applied to my life.
To start this process I needed a little help from Webster. This is how he defined these words:
Insecurity: not confident or assured, uncertain and anxious, not firm or set, afraid
Fear: dread, a belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat
Condemnation: express complete disapproval of, find guilty or wrong
Discouragement: cause someone to lose confidence or enthusiasm
I then asked God to bring up memories or fears or discouragement from my own actions, anything I am not confident in, etc. He showed me a lot. Let’s just say I could make this blog a whole lot longer if I told you them all. They were anything from being fearful of things on the race, to not being a confident leader, boss or pharmacist, to things parents or teachers had said years ago that still affect me, to not feeling approval in other areas of my life.
I will introduce you to Insecurity Numero Uno (I am in Costa Rica, see what I did there?). I had been convinced for many years that God got the recipe wrong when He made me. How could He call me to be a pharmacist, how could this ever work? I am not like them. They clearly aren’t like me. I am too social, too loud, with too much energy. I can’t focus for class, let alone study for hours. They are smart, dedicated, and driven. They have butt imprints on their favorite chair in the library because of the hours they spent there.
Then the book said this:
“In some ways insecurity is the ultimate insult to God. Because when we allow insecurity to override God’s purpose in our lives, we’re implying that He didn’t quite get the job done when He put us together.” Whoops. I had done just that.
Let’s take a journey to Jeremiah 1:5 where God is speaking directly to Jeremiah as a youth.
Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew and approved of you, I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [AND] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
God sparked my attention the [AND]. He didn’t approve of Jeremiah [BECAUSE] He appointed him as a prophet to the nations, it was an [AND], an addition to the rest of what He said, almost like an afterthought. He formed him, approved of him and separated him. Oh yeah and He appointed him, too.
Hold up. So this means it can be transferrable to me? Before God formed me in my mama’s womb, He knew me and approved of me, [AND] appointed me to His purpose.
Now read it again. BEFORE He formed me in my mother’s womb. BEFORE He picked my personality, my family, MY PROFESSION, what I will be good at and what I will struggle with; BEFORE He set my course ahead of me, appointed me to anything, designed my laugh or my green eyes, HE KNEW AND APPROVED OF ME. Whoa.
He didn’t see my future or anything about me when He set me apart and said, “Yes, I want her.” He just saw ME. I do not have to audition or interview for what He has laid out. Whether I am good at my calling or not. He still approved of me before He even gave me a calling. I don’t need to preform for Him or anyone else. I got the part. No interview, no proving myself, nothing. HE HAS ALREADY APPROVED OF ME.
Well, shoot, that changes things, huh?
