What am I doing here?
That is the question that was running through my head last Sunday morning.
We had a group meeting to discuss ministry logistics at the ranch and we were waiting until some of us were going to have church together here.
I was lying in my tent and praying and listening to a Shane and Shane song “You Said”
the words talk about desiring for the nations to come to know Christ and that being his heart’s desire and the Lord fulfilling that.
Running through my head was that I no longer had that desire in my heart!
I used to feel so passionately for the nations to come to God.
I used to feel a burning desire and loved the persecuted church.
My heart’s desire was to see people from all over the world come to know God.
And no longer as obvious as it had been.
As I am processing all of this I am thinking “Lord, I cared so much for these things but now that I am here actually doing it that desire is not as strong.
What happened to me?”
As we were worshipping the Lord brought to my mind the scripture from Romans 10:14-15
“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How then will they believe in Him whom they have not heard?
And how will they hear without a preacher?
How will they preach unless they are sent?…”
It hit me as the Lord reminded me of this scripture.
It doesn’t matter what I feel.
It doesn’t matter if I feel like sharing the gospel or not.
It matters that God has called me, He has sent me and people will not know or believe in Jesus unless someone tells them!
And for whatever reason God chose and chooses to use me to do that here in
Swaziland and all across the world.
God has been abundant in His provision for this place and for this trip. He has opened many doors for us to share the gospel.
Now I just need to be obedient and tell others of God’s greatness, His mercy and His grace.
No I am not changing the face of
Swaziland but I am loving children who are not loved.
I am holding and praying over those who need to know God.
God is amazing He chose someone as simple as me to share Christ with the nations.
So whether I feel like it or not God has called and I must obey. And what a great God we serve – His work will be done and I am so thankful that He uses us to be apart of it.
Please continue to pray for us as we head to debrief and it is still unknown where we will be next month.
Blessings, Courtney
