Or, the reason I permanently marked my body with ink. Try not to die of shock but I did indeed recently acquire a tattoo! I’ve never been against tattoos but I was always quite certain I would never get one for myself. If I did, I knew it would have to be something that was a lot more important to me than just something that would look cool. So, obviously there is a story behind it. Here it is:
I love the song “You Won’t Relent”. As in “have listened to it hundreds of times” love it. There is a line in that song that says “I’ll set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm”. And for some reason, I thought that made the idea of a tattoo so cool, if it was a seal. So, I prayed a little bit about it and I just felt like God was saying He wanted to set His seal on me, and not the other way around. So, one day awhile after that I was thinking about tattoos and I decided to pray about it. I just asked God what He would set as a seal on me and immediately He said BELOVED.
That is something that God has been speaking to me about a LOT since the beginning of the year. Honestly, I know that God loves me. But, it always seemed like such an impersonal and distant love to me. I’ve begun to get a glimpse during this race of what God’s love is really like and it is the most indescribable, DEEP LOVE ever! I know I’m just glimpsing at it and still it startles me. Graham Cook says that the only way to describe God is with superlatives and I think that pretty much sums up what His love is like.
I’ve been so, so frustrated lately. I think if you recorded my prayers and counted the word that I speak the most (like on word processors, haha) it would be “more”. I just want so much more from God. I want more for my team and for my squad. I want more for myself. I want more character. More gifting. More anointing. I want to know Jesus so much more than I do now. I want more of my identity in Christ. In fact, I want ALL of my identity in Christ.
I definitely don’t have this all figured out, but I feel strongly that I can’t have that “more” until I more understand God’s love. I AM His beloved daughter and that is so much bigger and greater than any love there is on earth. I just know that it’s something I have a difficult time accepting and I’ve been trying to intentionally declare it over myself this year. I know I need to begin to “claim” it and walk in it.
Did I need to tattoo it on my wrist in order to do that? Nope.
Is it a daily reminder about who God says I am? Yep!
Is it sort of uncomfortable that I tattooed something on myself that I still struggle to believe sometimes? Yes.
