There isn’t really a simple answer for why The World Race. God didn’t show up in a dream and tell me to go. The circumstances seem more mundane than miraculous. The call seems more simple like Peter’s than spectacular like Paul’s. But yet here I am, eight months from launch knowing this is my next adventure with my Creator.
After a summer in South Africa, I knew my heart was created for missions. Maybe created for a season or for life, either way, this was it. So came the second gift, a summer in India. And as I started my Senior year, the question “What’s next?” sounded like a broken record playing in my head.
I think everyone has the same purpose in life, make much of God. Delight in your maker. Be loved by your Father. Glorify God. The question we all get tripped up on is the “how?” With your God given passion. The purpose of life is to glorify God with your God given passions.
This past semester I made some pretty big mistakes. I started seeking the answer instead of My God. It looked the same as seeking God, but my motivation was to get something from Him. Maybe He’ll tell me what’s next if I read the Bible more, pray more, read this book, go to this conference, etc. And why those things are all good, my attitude was one of trying to earn God and earn my answer instead of worshipping God and waiting for my answer. So everything sounded wrong, and I grew more and more frustrated and confused as time started to pass quicker.
But even through all of this chaos, something, rather Someone, kept focusing my attention back to The World Race. There wasn’t a real reason why, but I couldn’t cross this off my list of options (yes I had one of those). So I applied and waited.
And that’s when I realized my future had become my idol. My constant anxiety was its worship. My analyzing robbed me from rest with my Father. I had traded truth that my God is control for the lie that he was going to watch me make the wrong decision.
When I dropped the idol, He calmed my heart and I asked for a gift. Just like I asked for South Africa and India. There was something that made me want those things, the same thing that makes me want The World Race. So I finally asked for what I wanted, because I was finally okay if He told me no. But He didn’t. He gave me what I wanted, because it’s what He wants. From me and for me.
Because while I was feeling so ignored, there was a whisper telling me to go here, turn there, apply for this, read this, ask for this. And I finally recognized the voice. The same voice that called me from death to life.
So this is it. The World Race. It’s only a gift, and my heart can’t be satisfied in it. The dream won’t give me joy, wholeness, or peace. Only the Dream Giver can satisfy my soul the way it was made to be. I’m really excited for this gift. My heart literally flutters when I think about it (seriously, it is now).
But in all my excitement I hear The Whisper, “Love the Giver more than the gift.”
