Most of my life, I've been defined by the things I can't do.
And for most of my life, I stopped trying.
Because I knew exactly who I was.
And I knew exactly who I wasn't.
For one thing, I have always known I can't sing.
I'd heard it my whole life.
I'd told myself my whole life.
It wasn't a curse, it was a fact.
I either purposely sang off key to the radio for the sake of a good laugh, kept quiet, or always assured people it "wasn't my thing."
Because, well, it wasn't.
And although I wanted to sing, fear crippled me from ever trying.
And soon, fear took root until it blossomed into a dull flower of complacency.
A few years ago, I finally reached a point where I no longer cared what anyone thought when I sang because I realized how much it pleases God's heart to hear His children sing. But I started to notice around this time that when I did worship Him…it sounded…different.
I thought it was odd, but I kept singing anyways.
Over the next few years, and even on the Race, I have had people come out of the woodwork and tell me that I had been anointed to sing. They would tell me I had a beautiful voice, they would ask me to go up to the front and sing over people, they told me that when I sang, it released a new spiritual atmosphere and brought freedom. The craziest part is people who I didn't know, and who had never heard me sing, told me the same thing.
Even then, I still struggled to embrace it. And half of me thought all these people were talking to the wrong person, or were a little confused themselves.
Because I knew exactly who I was
And I knew exactly who I wasn't.
Turns out, I was wrong on both accounts.
The problem is, we've come up with a list of what we can't do, and chosen to live by it.
And for most of us, never once did we ask our Father what He thinks.
Is it His list or ours? Really?
You might be surprised to learn the answer.
Because It would seem to me that the enemy would be most interested in killing the dreams and desires that would bring God the most glory.
…Right?
I don't know about you, but I've come to realize on the Race that I am no longer living by a list of "can't do's" that my broken, defeated heart has formed since the time I was a kid…before I realized I was a child of a King. You see, He has given me quite the inheritance. The Kingdom of Heaven, in fact.
When it comes to the Kingdom of Heaven, I believe the only limits we have are those we put on ourselves. We create invisible ceilings and try to convince ourselves it's enough.
We're so quick to give a list of reasons of why we don't have certain spiritual gifts or callings. Why our light doesn't shine as brightly as someone else's. Why we don't pray like someone else. Why we don't serve like someone else. Why we don't love like someone else. Why we don't ask God for crazy revelations and miracles. Why we don't dance. Why we don't paint. Why we don't sing.
Sure, we are absolutely all gifted in different ways. We all bring different things to the table. But if I am ever not trying out of fear… then whose will am I really submitting to?
Because if we are in Him, nothing is out of our grasp. He said,
"Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father." (John 14:12)
Living an "average" life is not defined by your career, or where you live, or how you spend your time. It is living as less than who you were created to be. It is living the life of a pauper when you are actually the child of the King. You were created for amazing works. Not just the works Jesus did, but even greater.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." – Jesus
Be extraordinary in whatever you do. Whether you are a mom, a teacher, a missionary, or just a kid…start to learn what it means to live life to the fullest. The dreams you have? The desires you have? The ones that everyone has told you your whole life are for someone else?
Start asking the Father. Never stop asking. Let yourself do things that you never dreamed possible. Ask Him who you are and what you are capable of. He is the God of the impossible, after all.
You see, my singing changed not because I took voice lessons- but because the fear left. Now, on the Race, I have had the privilege to lead worship in different places and for my squad- and although it still feels crazy at times- that's exactly the kinda life I want to life. A life that feels a little a LOT crazy.
Take a step of faith and go on the adventure your life was meant to be when you decided to follow Jesus. Whether you are a mom or you work a 9-5 or you are a missionary living in the jungle…start living life to the fullest. Start discovering who you actually are.
The season of singing has come.(Song of Solomon 2:12)
I for one, am ready to embrace that season.
Ready to start learning exactly who I am.
And exactly who I'm not.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)
Extra note to my family, friends, and supporters:
Tonight I am leaving after a wonderful month working in Malaysia as a teacher to bring life and light to an area that is completely closed to the Gospel for the capital of Kuala Lumpar! (Hence why I can only put limited information about our ministry on my blog). We will leave on the night of the 31st to fly out to our next location: Cambodia! I will send out information about our new ministry as soon as I know myself. 🙂 Continue to keep me and my squad in your prayers! Blessings friends & family!
