It’s really crazy for me to sit here and think about all the things I’ve been able to see and experience since last Valentine’s Day. I can say I’ve lived in 6 different countries, seen some of God’s most beautiful creations, and met some amazing people that are each a huge part of this journey. God has taken me through some seriously hard seasons but also been there to celebrate with me in some other seasons. This week marked our half way point of the race (yes you read that correctly we are HALF-WAY done the World Race.) and I feel like I’m well on my way to becoming my true self that God has created me to be in every season I’m in.
So how was Valentine’s Day different on the world race you ask?
Well.. This year my Valentine’s Day was completely different. Yes I’m in Cambodia and not in Canada but I mean different on another level. In the past few years I’ve struggled with singleness and feeling inadequate for anyone (other than my family) to love me. I didn’t know why I had reached the age of 25 and have never even gone on a date before. Is there something wrong with me? But then I came on the World Race. Now looking back on the first half of the race and all the little things that God has brought me through and it all makes a little more sense. The world race was all a part of God’s plan for me. He knew that in order to actually be in a relationship with someone I first have to love myself for who he’s created me to be and also have opportunities to experience his true love for me. I’ve learned that his love is greater than anyone on earths love could possibly be for me. I’ve learned that even though we say we love the poeple in our lives, they are still going to eventually let you down and upset you and aren’t always going to be there for you. But God.. He’s actually ALWAYS there for us. In fact he’s waiting for us to come running to him every time we step away even just for a moment. When you sit down and think about that.. It’s kinda crazy. So this year my Valentine’s Day didn’t really affect me the way that is has in previous years. My focus this year was shifted from receiving love from others and getting caught up in material things to receiving the best kind of love from the Lord. I wrote in my journal that night, “Today I wasn’t stressed out about the fact that I have never experienced Valentine’s Day with a significant other. I stopped and took a look around me and realized that I get the chance to share God’s love with those little munchkins on the street that come hangout with me while I get wifi.”
My view of what Valentine’s Day really should be was a day of love. A day to be reminded that ultimately God loves us more than anyone else and that’s all that really matters. God is also taking me through a process to show me how to love myself for who he created me to be. I’m not guna lie, it’s not an easy thing sometimes. I’m sure it breaks God’s heart to hear the negative things I think and say about myself. In Psalm 139:13-14 it says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I’m learning (with the help of my team) that he created me to be a joyful, confident, smart, selfless, strong, faithful, pure woman of God that has so much to offer those around me. He also created me with a deep passion for children and genuine love for people.
Right now I’m still learning to love myself for who God has created me to be and I’m still experiencing the vastness of his intimate love for me so I still have a ways to go and let me tell you it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Actually it’s usually in the hard moments when we are learning the most. And as hard and challenging as it may seem right now, God is preparing me for the things to come like a future husband or hopefully kids of my own some day.
So Valentine’s Day this year was really different. Not a bad different ..just different. This Valentine’s Day reminded me of what true love with my Heavenly Father actually looks like. Now as I am running full force into the second half of my world race I’m looking forward to growing in intimacy with the Lord and continuing to share his love with everyone around me.
That’s all. Until next time!
Xo Court
