Our squad arrived in Latvia to come together before heading into our final month.
A bunch of us had bought tickets for the ballet.
(Apparently Latvia is best known for their ballet in the Baltic Region).
So, naturally, we wanted to get all dressed up.
After all, it was a classy event.
And so began the madness.
Fights for the bathroom,
fifteen people asking to borrow one persons straightener,
changing outfits three times….
Ok, I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the point.
It seemed like everyone was in a frenzy;
myself worst of all.
Sidenote: I've NEVER been a girly girl.
Which is just fine, I know.
And for the most part,
Im comfortable in my skinnies and converse.
But then…
I see the other girls around me and and go into full freak out mode.
One of my teammates told me I was beautiful,
but I wasn't having it.
It was like something was compelling me.
So I put on the only semi-cute dress I have and feel pretty good…
until I see other girls outfits.
My mind starts racing and I find myself wishing I had clothes as cute as theirs.
Realizing there was nothing I could do in that department,
I moved on to putting on make-up.
I took more time than I usually hold to make sure I didn't have any embarrassing black marks
and that my eyelashes were poppin'.
(If I had lip gloss, that would've been poppin' too).
I thought I'd done a good job…
until I saw the other girls' make-up.
I was gonna leave my hair as it was,
but everyone else was curling or straightening their hair,
so naturally I had to too, right?
Turns out, I liked it ok, but not compared to the other girls' hair.
So let's re-cap.
Everyone starts getting ready,
and I don't feel pretty enough as I am,
so I do the things that I think will make me feel beautiful.
But with each new thing that I try,
it's still not as good as ________'s.
That about sums it up, right?
Wanna know the sickest part of the whole thing?
I was fishing for compliments the whole time.
I thought, "even though I don't feel pretty compared to so and so,
maybe someone will single me out and tell me I'm pretty and then I'll feel good about myself.
So there it is:
every.
girls.
struggle.
For me, make-up was just another mask.
(I'm not saying that wearing make-up is bad;
Im simply stating that its important to think about why we're wearing it).
I wasn't comfortable enough in my own skin,
so I covered up to try to make a better impression,
and to hide what I didn't want anyone to see.
Make-up is just the beginning.
Society screams at us every day to be thinner.
To exercise more.
To look a certain way.
To wear certain clothes.
To fit their mold.
But the mold isn't working;
its destroying.
It's time for re-molding.
"You are all-together beautiful my love; there is NO FLAW in you."
-Song of Songs 4:7
That verse is tossed around a lot,
and sometimes way too passively.
Just picture for a second that the Almighty God,
your Creator and lover is saying this to you.
Picture it again.
And again.
And again.
Let the sweetness of his voice take you away.
Let him speak this without ceasing until you believe it.
"You were a million years of work,"
said God and his angels with needle and thread,
they kissed your head and said,
"you're a good kid, and you make us proud,
so just give your best and the rest will come
and we'll see you soon."
–Needle and Thread by Sleeping at Last
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder,
and the one who beholds you says you're beautiful
just.
as.
you.
are.
