Hello everyone,
I’m currently sitting in a bus on my way to my destination in Nicaragua. It’s crazy to think that this is our last country. In two and a half months I’ll be laying in my bed wondering what just happened and if it was real. But then I’ll look at the person I am and the one I was before I left and realize there’s no way it couldn’t have happened. Over the past 6 months I’ve changed and grown in ways I didn’t see myself really growing in at all.
Growing up I knew about Jesus but I didn’t have a relationship with Him. My junior year of high school I went on a trip to Uganda that changed my life. I built a relationship with Jesus and realized that without him I can’t live. As time went on though I felt like something was still missing. If I’m being honest after finding Jesus I felt more lost than ever before. At training camp for the race I probably cried just about every night at worship because I could see the Holy Spirit moving but I couldn’t feel it in me. I felt like for some reason I wasn’t chosen or something which is funny because I knew God had chosen all of us. I couldn’t pin what was wrong. So come launch and honestly about the first 5 and a half months of the race I just went with the flow of everything. I worshiped but didn’t feel much. I prayed and believed but still questioned because truthfully I felt only half full. These past two weeks I realized a lot but the main thing was that I didn’t find my identity in Christ. As a kid, it was my sister I found my identity in. From 6th-11th grade, it was volleyball and the way my father saw me that I found my identity in. From 12th-two weeks ago, it was my friends that I found my identity in. But now, it’s Jesus, our savor, that I find my identity in and never have I felt more myself.
Love,
Court.
