Growing up in the youth groups at Fellowship Church, I attended numerous mission trips to Mexico. I remember very clearly sitting on the steps of an orphanage in Tijuana after a trip in summer 2010, thinking to myself: “I don’t want to be anywhere in the world except right here. Forget my volleyball scholarship. Forget college.” And I meant it.
But the next day I got on the plane (with tears in my eyes) to go home, left for college that fall and spent the next four years studying, playing ball and living college life. Freshman year I had pictures of sweet little Mexican faces hanging all over my walls, I blasted Spanish music everywhere I went and dreamt of returning to Tijuana someday soon. But by senior year those dreams felt like a distant memory. That Corrie seemed like a different Corrie. Before graduation I remember looking at pictures from the beginning of college and barely recognizing myself. So much had changed. And yes, I do believe that Bryan College was in God’s plan for me, but somewhere in the midst of living college life I lost sight of my other passions. Achieving a college degree is no light endeavor and collegiate athletics on top of that is a full-time job in itself. I poured all of my time and attention into my life in that “Bryan Bubble,” and it wasn’t until after my volleyball career was over and after my college days began winding down that my passion for missions began to reawaken.
For a long time my focus had been on myself, but as I began to allow the Lord to step in and shake up my plans and as my focus became increasingly less on myself and more on what the Lord had in store for me, God proved Himself faithful. And very suddenly the Lord plucked me up and sent me to Israel (and Jordan! and Italy!) before I even had the chance to decide I wanted to go for myself. It was in Israel that summer after graduation that my adventurous spirit began to reawaken and my heart for missions resurfaced.
When I returned from my summer abroad I put so much effort into doing what I thought others expected of me. I moved away from home, started coaching volleyball, working and searching for a new church community. I was doing everything that was expected of a responsible college grad, but I couldn’t seem to get rid of this itch to do something MORE.
I first heard about The World Race last fall (2014). From the moment I first started peeling through the website, I was hooked. I had tears in my eyes; my heart was racing. THIS was the type of life I wanted to live. Living with intentionality and purpose. Working to BUILD HIS KINGDOM. All while traveling the world and documenting it through blogs and pictures and stories. My dream come true.
But in that first teary-eyed, chill bumpy moment, I refused to let the idea sink in too much. I pulled out a piece of scrap paper, scribbled down a prayer surrendering the whole idea of the Race to the Lord and tucked it away, promising myself to let it go. How could I change paths when I’ve been working so hard to establish myself in Chattanooga?
Fast forward to Christmas 2014. My Mom and Dad surprised me with a ticket to go visit my best friend who serves as a missionary at the San Diego/Baja YWAM base in Tijuana, Mexico! I’ve never been so surprised in my life. Not only would I get to go see my best friend who I’m lucky to see maybe once a year, but I would get to go back to TJ, a city very near and dear to my heart.
Fast forward again to the end of January/beginning of February 2015. I spent two fantastic weeks in Mexico at the YWAM base. Walks on the beach. Taco stands. Laughs with the bestie. And Ministry. Pure happiness. A.) because it was a vacation of sorts, but also B.) because it was the sort of environment my heart has been longing for. MINISTRY. COMMUNITY. PURPOSE. MISSIONS. THE WORLD.
I think the Lord sent me on that trip for one reason: to recognize, renounce and repent for a lie that I had been believing. Words have power, vows have power, and I had resolved one summer early on in college that I could never be a missionary. That same best friend was visiting home and describing her life and the ministries she was involved with, and I remember very clearly thinking to myself: “I could never be a missionary.” I believed I wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t spiritual enough, wasn’t bold enough, wasn’t good enough. And it was a LIE. I allowed the enemy to alter my heart and my dreams in that moment and lost touch with what I believe the Lord had placed a calling on my heart to do: missions. When I was in Mexico I was able to participate in those very same ministries that I had believed would have been impossible for me to do. And I loved every minute of it. The Lord not only revealed to me that lie that I had tucked away in my heart, but He allowed me to experience the very things I was convinced I could never do. He changed my heart and my wrong thinking that trip.
However, I spent the next couple months drowning in anxiety and fear. I knew what my heart was longing for, but my brain wouldn’t allow those passions to take root and change my course of action. I didn’t know whether to do a DTS with YWAM, to force myself to be content with my life in Chattanooga or possibly do that World Race thing that had drawn me in back in the fall. It was overwhelming and draining trying to fight back my dreams and ignore the desires the Lord had placed within me.
Finally, on that day the Lord spoke to me through a Backstreet Boys’ song, I managed to get some sense. I felt that He was very clearly leading me towards The World Race. After much processing and prayer, I finally applied.
And each step forward I’ve made towards The World Race has been affirmed by the Lord the very next day in significant and comforting ways.
And so here I am. Moving forward in obedience. Entrusting the Lord with this entire process, and trusting that He will provide for me in very real and tangible ways. My doubt, confusion and fear has been replaced with confidence and peace!
I’m so very excited about this adventure and all that the Lord will accomplish in and through me during the process!
