You know those people that get stressed out thinking about what might happen when they fly for the first time? Or that can’t make a decision when they’re out at a restaurant because… well, what if they don’t like what they order? Or that completely play out conversations with people in their mind before they ever really happpen?
I am NOT one of those people. Well maybe that last one. Sometimes. Ok, I do that one often.
Generally though, I’m a live-in-the-present kind of person, and usually, that’s a good thing. I don’t get stressed about the unknowns of upcoming events, at least not until it’s necessary. Is Matthew 6:25-34 ringing in your ears? When I made the decision to leave my teaching career in late February 2014, I didn’t really have a plan for my next steps. But March through May weren’t stressful for me in that unknown. It simply wasn’t time to worry about it yet. Come late June, when I had time to think about it (and when my summer paychecks were starting to run out!), then I could spend some time addressing my new circumstances.
Yet, sometimes this ability to simply stonewall my mind on certain things has not served me well. When I put off thinking about things, sometimes they sneak up on me and I’m unprepared. Like what dishes I’m going to prepare for holiday gatherings. The night before and morning of become a rush to cook things that could have easily been a joy to prepare. Then I end up being late to the holiday, which makes me frustrated, and again I rob myself of the joy that is waiting for me.
I started to do the same thing with my upcoming World Race. I spent the month after hearing about being accepted avoiding serious thought about it – I mean, I had months upon months until October! (This is why I’m writing this post without sharing with many people yet that I even have a blog…)
Besides, I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
Then I read the blog post of a Racer that left in January, and my perspective shifted. This racer talks about the healing power of prayer while she was in Nepal. Not just spiritual healing – no – miraculous physical healing in Jesus’ name. In the foothills of the Himalayas, she is a part of bringing sight to a blind woman. REALLY. Jesus heals a blind woman through her! Please stop for a moment and read her article. You won’t regret it.
My heart races when I read this story. I am covered in goosebumps and my breath hitches as tears fill my eyes. I no longer want to put off thinking about The World Race. I want to immerse myself in the stories other Racers are sharing. I want to dig into my Bible and learn more about the character of the God I’ll be witnessing in a new way. I want Him to open my heart to seeing that now, before I leave, in my everday life here.
Every week, I sing with the two-year-olds at my church that “Our God is so BIG, so Strong and so Mighty, there’s nothing our God cannot do” and yet in my stonewalled heart, sometimes I don’t believe that. I’m beginning to see that actively preparing my heart for this trip is my best way to glorify God before I leave.
Generally, I’m not a planner – except when it comes to planning time for my God.
