As I write the rough draft of this blog, it’s only the fourth day since we arrived in Malaysia and we haven’t even met our contact yet, but I am so excited about this month. And not in the way that I expected Thailand to be the most amazing month ever – because that was setting the bar higher than poor Thailand could ever reach. (I promise I’ll come back one day!)
But having had time to look back on last month and be encouraged by my World Race family that I got to see at Christmas, I’ve realized what God wants me to take away from my time in Thailand.
He doesn’t want me to remember my headache-induced brain fog, or how I couldn’t sing because my throat was so sore, or how isolated I felt when our team’s ministry was taken away from us. He wants me to remember that He was still there, through all of it. He was there in the beautiful mountains and and caves we got to explore on our off-days. He was there as I got to walk around a new city. He was definitely there when we had room service delivered to our fancy hotel room!
I have been so blessed to have people around me who remind me what I’m doing here too. To have comments from church members, who tell me that it’s okay to figure out what I don’t want ministry to look like. Christmas dinner with my World Race best friend, who listens so well and knows I need to hear that God’s plan is bigger than my own. A Christmas card from my choir, who cheer me on from thousands of miles away. A message from my alumni Squad Leader, who lifts me up by looking for the real me, not the over-critical girl I default to in times of stress.
Yesterday, as I was reading in Job and praying over the last five months of this journey (because somehow we’ve already gotten to that point!), I had an epiphany that brought that all together.
As for me, I would seek God, and to God I would commit my cause. He does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number… He will deliver you from six troubles; in seven no harm shall touch you. Job 5:8-9, 19
I don’t know what South America will hold for me. I hardly know what Malaysia does! But I have complete faith that God called me on this trip for a reason, not just so that I would become a better person and figure out what I want to study in grad school. He called me because there’s someone I’m supposed to help somewhere. There’s something that He wants me to do that will make all the difference.
It’s been hard to wait for that these past two months. Really hard. Now, though, I feel like the weight of waiting has been lifted. Reaching the bottom, in a sense, has made me appreciate even more the amazing experiences that I have had on the Race.
And it has made me that much more determined to keep my focus on God and my relationship with Him over the next months, as I wait and see what He has for me in my future.
Now it’s the sixth day we’ve been in this country. We’ve met our contacts, Kumar and Josephine – had a nearly 5 hour conversation with them lasting until after midnight, to be exact. (We’re being hosted by a family again this month, who also have 4 kids!) We’ve learned about how they got their English school started and about the community outreach they do, and even gotten some homework!
Day 6: Still excited, still focused! (Although reading three chapters of Job each day is a struggle.)
