Yesterday (maybe still today in the States if I get this written in time) would have been my Pepaw’s 89th birthday. If they have birthday parties in heaven, I think Peeps would have had the most goofy, joyful day.
Four days ago, my family gathered at his graveside to say their goodbyes. And as much as I came to feel at peace with not being there, it still sucks.
As you might imagine, life and death have been on my mind a lot over the past few days.
I have spent a lot of my time since arriving in Phuket feeling barraged by reminders of our loss. The Bible reading plan I’m doing has me reading about Lazarus’ death and resurrection. The island is a place that masks its spiritual death with flashing lights and loud music. On top of all that, I have a miserable cold and haven’t been able to get to bed early as most of our ministry this month happens after dark, when church members are off work.
This morning, I read the last half of John 12. It begins with yet another foretelling of Jesus’ impending crucifixion. Death cast its shadow over Him just as much as it does the rest of us. But then I got to verse 46.
I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me should not remain in the darkness.
I asked God, “Where am I supposed to find light in this? How can I get over this feeling that death is everywhere?”
I was sitting at a table in the sanctuary (which doubles as our dining room and bedroom) and as I waited for an answer, I looked up. We decorated for Christmas yesterday and on the wall across from me are banners reading Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace.
Duh.
It’s Advent! One of my favorite seasons! The heat and humidity make it easy to forget, but luckily I have a Christmas tree and people playing Christmas music all around me to help me remember. As Christians, we know and believe that death is not followed by more death, but instead is followed by eternal life with our Creator.
And on that note – I didn’t think this was a music post when I started, but then my favorite Advent hymn popped into my head. (This not my favorite video, but it was the only one I could find out of dozens of YouTube variations that had all the lyrics I wanted. Thanks, Presbyterians!)
Jesus came to ransom us from mourning, to disperse our gloominess, to chase away our darkness and fill us with peace. He came to make sure that death would not be the end, but rather a beginning. What a comfort that my grandfather’s physical death was also the start of his life in heaven. What a privilege to witness the people who are bringing Jesus’ light and life to this city.
What a blessing to have hot tea to drink in the mornings and time for naps in the afternoon.
