Reflections from my journal on training camp..
About three weeks ago I woke up in a sweat and said, "I do not want to do the worldrace", but I was forced, I mean encouraged to just wait and go to training camp as if that would solve all my problems! I arrived at camp and the attack of the enemy and my selfishness grew stronger. For the first 3 days my skin was on fire, I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't eat-which came in handy for some of the meals! It was my will vs. God's. My flesh vs the Spirit. Training Camp is intense. You know nothing. You're put in awkward situations, fed a ton of spiritual info all the while dealing with your own issues, and they welcome that! I had some great God ordained talks with the awesome leadership team, vented to my Dad and friends, and even received emails from my Pastor, I read and prayed more than ever and finally it broke. The Spirit had won! God called and I answered yes! I want to serve others and join God where He is at work, but I also want God to work on me and go deeper with me! Growing up a Christian, serving in the church, and giving all of me to the ministry is not enough. You can not stay where you are and go with God, as my friend Val reminds me almost daily! I will never forget this week and the blessings it provided. If I had not gone through with it or obeyed God's call I would be missing out on so much including some new friendships! So..Do I have to go on the worldrace? Yes! For those I'll meet, for my Lord, my teens, my church, my friends, and my family!
