change
[cheynj]
verb (used with object), changed, changing.
1.to make
the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from
what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one’s name;
to change one’s opinion;
to change the course of history.
2.to
transform or convert (usually followed by into):
The witch changed the prince into a
toad.
Change. It happens. You know it’s coming. You can smell it a
mile away (usually).
And when it actually begins, it can be devastating (sometimes).
This month in South Africa has been amazing. I have enjoyed
our time here so much. Working with Higher Ground Camp has been beyond
anything I could have asked for. Our contact and her family are beyond description. It’s going to be, I think,
the first good bye that actually hurts.
After running camp, I have had some time to sit and think.
Ive been able to process through some things that came to surface
months ago. The Lord was trying to get my attention to have me work through it,
but like always, I tried to ignore it, shoving it back into the closet.
I’ve come to realize Im a perfectionist. Not in the sense
that everything has to be correct all the time, but in that I prefer everything
to be in order. I like structure. In fact, it brings me some false sense of
security. It’s probably why I geek out about science so much.
See when a problem or situation (OR an emotion) arises that I
can’t answer or make sense out of, I like to walk away and pretend the chaos
doesnt exist.
.it works sometimes but not on this trip..
I’ve come to see a
different perspective of change.
Sometimes it happens to us sometimes whether we like it or
not. Some people like to define this as fate. I define it as Gods sovereignty
or purpose for your life. But how many of us know we must choose into the plans God has for us.
This is the very reason why I came on the Race, to search out and allow Gods direction
for my life.
I have, however, come to see this month that change sometimes
wont happen unless you give God the okay. You have to allow it, head it on
face first, and not run away. You have to be willing to get uncomfortable.
i don’t
like that part. (but
I’ve learned its only as awkward as you make it)
If you want to genuinely change, you have to be honest, even
if you have no idea whats still in that that closet of junk. You have to let God take a look.
You see, like all people, I have experienced something
tragic in my life. It’s hard crap to work through. Sometimes you just want to
break free and be done with it forever. And you know what, God wants you to do
the same thing. He wants nothing more than to see you liberated from all that
junk. It wasn’t until I was willing to actually listen to what God was already asking me and be willing to examine my
heart in His light, no matter of how dirty and nasty it might have gotten
in the process.
The truth
is, Jesus loves us and wants us, no matter how gross we are.
The truth
is, Jesus is more than capable of washing the darkest stain.
The truth
is, Jesus needs us to stop going other places to get fixed and just come
to Him.
I know there’s still more work to be done to work through
this one area of my life, but I’m choosing to go there with God. I trust Him.
He is good and so are His plans for me.
I leave you with the inspiration for this title. Of course
you should know by now most titles (with the exception
of some) are taken from JRR Tolkien’s Hobbit or LOTR series. This one
comes from The Hobbit. I love this one because
it seems to capture these thoughts perfectly.
The greatest adventure is what lies
ahead.
Today and tomorrow are yet to be
said.
The chances, the changes are all
yours to make.
The mold of your life is in your
hands to break.
