The title of today’s post rings loud and true. It does everyday, but for some reason it just sinks in. Many times I find myself frustrated with God because it feels as if God’s constantly has me in the furnace or pounding away at me. I ask, “Lord when will it be enough? When will it be done? When will the final outcome be ready?” It kills inside because I know His answer is “Not now.”
No doubt, I’m trying to be more like Christ and see my shortcomings. My problem is I often find myself trying to change on my own. How is it that God finally is pleased with us when we give up and surrender? It feels so antithetical to the process of maturation. How can I grow more like Christ if I give up?
It’s not about me. It’s not about us or humanity. It never was. Will my frail little mind ever be able to grasp that? It has always been about God. He can do the impossible. From the very beginning, it has been about making Him great and making His name known to all. Why would anything else be more appealing? Why do I find myself being pulled away to other things that are here today and gone tomorrow?
This sin-nature, this flesh, it’s weak, tired, lazy, afraid, and wallows in self-pity. It never satisfies. It never solves the problem. It never has, and it always makes things worse. Then why is it so difficult to pick up the cross and carry it? The goal is to crucify the flesh and become more like Christ, right?
The challenge, I’m finding as I grow up in Christ, is that the cross not only gets heavy, but the terrain gets more difficult. First, perhaps I had to carry my cross across a long pasture. Now, it seems like I’m having to follow Jesus through a mountain range. I don’t want to give up, but what happens when I find all strength has gone? What happens when I cannot move forward in the Lord and His plans for me?
I just want strength to continue the race. I want to finish. I don’t need to win the gold. I just need to cross the finish line.
It’s going to be hard.
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