As we walk down the street of a squatter camp named Eskom I’m trying not to step on dead rats or into what is called the “gray water” filled of sewage and who knows what else. As I look up I see a woman. We see her filling up water and ask if we can help her. This is one of her first times seeing “moloongos” (white people). From the outside this woman is so joyful with a beautiful smile plastered on her face. As we walk home carrying a wheelbarrow full of water for her, she tells us her name is Lady.
We have an in depth conversation with her about grace and the Holy Spirit. As we are about to leave we ask Lady if she has anything we can pray with her about. I turn to see her face and she starts weeping. As she sits there apologizing for weeping in front of us she tells us she has never told anyone this. She is 44 years old wanting to have a child and has been trying to for 17 years. She became pregnant 9 years ago but it was an ectopic pregnancy so she miscarried.
In South Africa baby dumping is a habit of life. Many women in these squatter camps have babies at young ages and fear how to take care of them with lack of a job and food. By acting out of fear they toss them in dumpsters, rivers, and chemical toilets. Impact Africa is the organization I’m working with this month. It has a branch called Impact Baby Rescue to counsel pregnant women or new moms when these moms feel burdened. It also has a baby rescue safe that new moms put their babies in as a last resort if they are on their way to dump their baby.
The world is a place of a lot of questions we can never answer. Some mothers dump their babies and others have been trying to have one for 17 years praying as she weeps that the Lord provides her to be a mother. I want more than anything to give her life inside of her womb but I’m simply a human. All I can do is never take for granted the life God has given me. As I sit here I breathe deeply into my lungs to fill thinking every breath is a moment I can never let slip through my fingers. We might not be able to bring life to a mama’s womb but we are called to be vessels for the giver of life.
As I sit with her tearing up while seeing her weep, I realize that I’m not only tearing up at her situation but her beautiful heart. She reminds me so much of Hannah when all she wanted was to have a child. Hannah “was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly” (1 Samuel 1:10). “Hannah was speaking in her heart”. This is where I see beauty. When we pour out our soul and what saddens us to the Lord. He wants to be our giver of life for not just having children but he wants to be the giver of our life. He wants to rejoice with us when we are going through times that deserve a dance party and He wants to mourn when we are broken-hearted. The shortest sentence in the bible is “Jesus wept”. Sometimes there are no words to describe a heart that is in need of comfort so being a vessel of the empathy coming from the Lord is a way we can share His true comfort.
Life is beautifully complex. What kind of story of life would it be without any pain? It would merely be a life we lived full of roadblocks from all the joy we have in life because true joy comes from the giver of life. True joy comes the strength of the Lord; it is only when we empty ourselves can we be vessels for the giver of life. Life defines meaning and purpose, direction just like a flowing river wanting to sweep you away by it’s passion. Be swept away by the beauty of life when you have the joy of the gospel. Because I know that “out of [our] hearts flow rivers of living waters” (John 7:38). Let God carve the walls of your heart in order to let your river flow. Let the tears of others run into your river so they can be swept off their feet by knowing the true giver of life.
