Comparison is the thief of joy. Its such a true statement but one I have said so often that it tends to lose its meaning. But tonight it hit me smack in the face that I have been doing just that, and it has stolen my joy. Comparing ones life to others is so easy these days. Facebook allows us to see everyones highlight reel, while we compare it to our behind the scenes. Instagram also makes things look better than real life with all the filters and editing options. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy both, and with my job I’m sure there are people that think I have been living the life. But lately I find myself coveting a life I don’t have. Working on the road for the past two years has made me long for stability, family, and a place to call my own. I want to live in one city for a while, spend time with my two nieces, who I miss so much, and have a normal routine. I see what my sister has, two beautiful girls, a wonderful husband, an amazing house, a job that lets her come home every night, and I long for that. And that longing makes me question why I am leaving in January for what will probably take me the farthest from routine, home, friends and family I have ever been. I will most certainly not be comfortable. But I am not my sister, and her race is not my race, and to compare my life to hers will only bring me pain. Because I have been called to something different, not better, or worse, just different. And while that is a scary thing, it is also comforting to know the God of the universe is in complete control. Hebrews 12 calls us to “lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right had of the throne of God.” I believe that comparison is a weight and a sin that leads to covetousness. I have been so guilty of this. So I need to lay it aside, because I want to want what the Lord wants for me, because I know that is where I will find my joy. And He does knows the desires of my heart, and I can trust Him with those. He has even provided a job for me in my home town from September through the end of the year so I will get to spend some much needed time with my family and friends before I leave. But I think the Lord is giving me this time, not to get comfortable, but to refresh me and give me a solid foundation before I leave. Every time I have doubted weather or not this is the Lords plan for me, something had come up or happened to reassure and encourage me. And I am trying to embrace it. It will surly be the journey of a lifetime, and pull me closer to my heavenly Father. And it will most certainly be all my own.
