You are about to read a journey
that no one has ever read before…. This has been spoken countless times but
never written down. God has used it to break some, heal some and bring joy to
many. This story has been used by the King to encourage and let others know
that they are not alone in this battle that has already been won. It is not
beautiful on my part by any means but maybe this will clearly paint a
masterpiece of His work in me and the conquering presence of His Love! What you
are about to read is not a story of a mere boy but a mere boy and a Mighty God!
My name is Colby Lynn Gardner and
I am 23 years old. I grew up on a farm 9 miles outside the small town of Centerville, TX. I have been raised by my two AMAZING parents,
Keith and Carlynn Gardner, who are two of the most passionate and loving people
that you will meet… if you’re lucky! I am the youngest son of two. Clint is 27
years old and married to an incredible woman from a wonderful family of God.
Clint and Amy have two sweet girls, Lane (2 1/2) who is exactly like her daddy
and Landry (1 month) who is changing every second! Lane is MY GIRL! I can’t
wait to see how God uses them to change the face of the earth and advance the
Kingdom! God has allowed me to be born into a family filled with passion and
honor in every way, from my grandparents all the way to our newest little ones!
The first seven years of my life,
my family and I lived in Corrigan, TX (1986-1992). Every time the church doors
were open, my family was there. Mom and dad were determined to raise their boys
the right way and they made sure of it. I can remember going to church as a
youngster and telling the little old ladies, “If you keep makin’ those deviled
eggs, I’ll keep comin’.” They just laughed knowing that I was going to be there
regardless, because of the faithfulness of my parents. The summer that we left Corrigan en route to
Centerville, I attended vacation bible school at our church. Before this time,
I remember spending many nights tossing and turning wondering, “Is this it?
What if I did die tonight…? I am in need
of this Jesus guy. There’s got to be more….” I am a thinker and never cease
to ask the question “Why?”, which got me in to trouble later on…. Still to this
day, I can remember the very seat that I sat in and the very feeling of freedom
in my heart, even though I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, when God called
me out as His own. I quickly put my life in His hands and we moved soon after.
It was about the 6th
grade when my Nanny started getting sick.
She had diabetes (I can remember taking her old needles and having
squirt gun fights with my cousins! She would of course break the needles off!
That would be a sight huh!?) Her diabetes escalated about this time, leaving
her in and out of the hospital time and time again over a period of 5 years or
so. I cried myself to sleep night after night after night begging God to heal
Nanny. I would pour my heart out asking
the Great Healer to deliver not only her but our family from this ailment. It
was tough seeing the matriarch of our family, the woman in charge, the faithful
Nanny slowly fade. It took its toll on our family and our faith, at least
mine. At this time, we would be gone on
weekends, missing out on fellowship with our church body (Leona Baptist
Church!), because we were with Nanny and the rest of the family. As a young and
ignorant child, I began to get hard hearted and bitter as you could imagine. I
held it in but it killed my spirit. I watched Nanny go from a strong and
faithful presence to a bedridden, frail woman that could barely respond with a blink.
Nanny went home with Jesus on May 1, 2001.
Enter “Why? mode….” For a few years, I was constantly asking God, “Why?
Why didn’t you heal my Nanny? Why did you take her from us? Why God, why?” My
faith took it like a kill shot as I began to get bitter and refused to go back
to youth on Wednesday nights. It took way more of me than I realized at the
time…. As this is difficult to think about even now, it is easy and pleasant to
remember the countless times that Nanny taught us, prayed for us, led us in
scripture, loved on us and even scratched our backs two at a time for hours on
end as we sat next to her in her wheel chair. No matter which way we do or even choose to see it, each moment, every
breath, is encompassed with God pouring out His heart on us.
Throughout my school years, I was
a simple, good kid but I had no depth to who I was, no firm foundation, no
solid rock. I was lacking discipleship, lacking that Paul that every young
believer needs. I was an athlete. I played football, baseball, powerlifting and
track. It was my sophomore year that I blew my right knee in football but that
didn’t get my attention. I have no idea how but I rehabbed during the week and
continued to play on Friday nights throughout the playoffs. My junior year, in
the fourth round of the playoffs (two games from state), we were playing at
Kyle Field (Texas A&M) when I blew my knee again on the last play of the
first quarter. Immediately, as my leg
began to balloon up, I lie screaming at the top of my lungs in front of 12,000
fans, knowing that God was only trying to get my attention. He did. For two
weeks I could not place any pressure at all on that leg. It was so bad that my
mother had to help me put my pants on, as well as my socks and my shoes. It
took a long while but I managed to get my draws on by myself. She was NOT
helping me with that!!! My dad had to help me get into our mammoth of a bath
tub (it has feet!) a few times…. I wore a leg brace and walked on crutches for
a while. I felt helpless but all the while God kept reminding me, “You can’t
do anything without Me.” That was constantly on my mind as I
begged Him to heal my leg and refresh my soul. Literally, I was praying what
seemed to be all day, everyday…. One Sunday morning when we walked into church,
(I could still put zero pressure on my leg.) I sat in the back section and my
dad put my crutches against the wall. There I sat, faithfully and patiently
asking God just to let me walk again and to get back on my feet (physically and
spiritually). At the end of the service, dad came over and said, “Let me get
your crutches.” I told him, “No sir, I’m gonna get up. We’re gonna walk.”
Instantly, I could put pressure on my leg and walk around! Though I wasn’t
doing jumping jacks or cart wheels, a light came on in my heart and slowly
began to consume me!
Once I was back on my feet again
and back at it, I began to get asked constantly by some of my friends at school
to come to youth at FBC on Wednesdays. I finally gave in and went. I loved it! God had already grabbed my heart by healing
me physically, now it was time for spirtual healing to take place. I began
to get deeply involved in our discussions and studies on scripture and had an
enormous desire to dig deeper. I can remember staying up for hours reading and
sobbing over scripture as it was so heavy and breaking to who I was. God began
to open up my heart to the things that were unseen and unknown before this
time. I began to speak up, study up and stand up. I began to get to know the
guys in my youth group a lot better but there was this one home-schooled kid,
Paul, who caught my attention. At first, I thought he was just weird or
different, I couldn’t really figure it out…. As he would live his life around
me, quietly encourage me and was interested in who I really was, even though he
didn’t know much about me, his genuine heart was speaking volumes to me. He ‘got it’. The ‘weirdness’ was ‘weird’ to me because I had never seen a young
guy in love with Jesus like this before. Paul was ‘different’ but I liked this
kind of ‘different’, I wanted more of this ‘different’!
After high school, I went to
college to play football. Once my freshman season was over at junior college, as
it had been a tough time all around, I decided to transfer to Sam Houston State
University. I got involved with the right group of guys there and began to have
real, one on one accountability and true discipleship. I was loved by a group
of guys my age like I had never been before. They cared about my walk with
Christ, they challenged me, and they made me want Jesus more than ever. They
were genuine, even in weakness. It was at this time that I fell head over heels
for Jesus for the first time in my life. It was not just fellowship or
knowledge of scripture anymore, it was all of that encompassed with challenging
discipleship and accountability soaked in hours of prayer each day. It was at
this time that I decided to lay down myself fully and adopt the lifestyle of a
Christ-follower, a ‘little Christ’. The next year and a half was the most
pleasant ‘defining moment’ in my life. I began to experience first-hand what I
had seen in people and heard about time after time growing up. It was real. I began to understand how
satisfying it was to spend hours not only praying but listening in communion
with the Father and witness the effects of it daily as not only my life changed
but the lives of people around me. I began to grasp His undending love and
passion for His people. My heart began to become like His, my desires His and I
was desperate for every movement of God. I began to experience changes in my
life that were so foreign to me that I could not explain.
During this same time period (summer
term), I was approached by one of the football coaches. He said that he was
sent by the head coach to see if I wanted to play football. My response was of
course, “Yes sir. That’s why I came to Sam.” He said, “Show up on Monday.” I
was all over it! Once we started working out, I began to black out about 10-15
times a day for sometimes up to 15-20 seconds, leaving me dizzy and unable to
see anything. (When I was in high school, I got my first concussion and in my
freshman year of college, I had two more in two weeks.) I told no one about
this. I just toughed it out, figured that it might go away and began to pray, “God, what do You want me to do? I mean,
I want to remember things when I get older…. What do You want me to do?” As I
continued to pray, I remember walking in the weight room one morning at 5:30am
for regular workout and as soon as I walked through the door, coach looked at
me and said, “Gardner, we can’t have you anymore.” Immediately I knew it, there
was my answer. Brokenhearted as I saw my dream slipping away, I asked coach,
“What? Why?” He then told me that “NCAA says ‘this and that’ and we can’t have
you with the team during the summer since you haven’t ‘officially’ been with us
before. Just come back in August and you will be fine, you will still be on the
team.” This was a HUGE pill to swallow but I knew that God was up to something!
A few weeks later, at 19 years
old, I got a call to be a youth pastor. Just to clear things up, I had NEVER
envisioned this being a part of my life but after a surrender to obedience, God
used me, of all people, to serve what started out as about 15-20 teens at Leona
Baptist Church and was blessed lead them in community, discipleship and
accountability. As time progressed, I was able to see our numbers grow to about
60+ on some nights. Not that numbers mean anything but they sure did when Jesus
brought 21 of these kids to salvation and a relationship over a period of 20
months! As I was compelled to bring the cold hard Truth to these kids, God
showed up time and time again, to humble and teach us in the genuine ways of
His heart. One night, for example, I had a friend come to speak and share His
testimony with us. When he was done, the whole room sat in silence. After about
10 minutes passed, they slowly began to stand up and walk out quietly. (It
NEVER took ten minutes for them to get up and clear out!) We waited and prayed,
as the Holy Spirit’s presence was so heavy. About 5-10 more minutes passed and
9 kids came back in and all at the same time said, “I wanna hear more.” Well, when we want more, He graciously and
freely gives it! “The Spirit searches
all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts
of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the
thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the
world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has
freely given us.” -1 Corinthians 2:10-12 … “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you
have received it, and it will be yours.” -Mark 11:24 …On that night, 6 more
teens surrendered their lives to Christ! These 20 months were a time of great challenge
and spiritual growth, not only for myself but for the youth. Many went from
milk to steak, leaders were bred and a passion for a Holy King was heavy. To be
able to look and see some of them continually walking in the Truth today brings
so much joy to my heart!
As I began to get involved in
many different ministries, God was
sharpening the worst of me for the best of Him. In the last few years of my
college career, God placed me next to some great mentors and led me places that
I was never comfortable at all. Thank goodness our Savior went to and through the
worst to bring the best so that we could share in it with Him! …One of the
greatest opportunities was that I was able to take part in leading a bar
ministry that God used to reach many that might never experience the ever
changing love of Christ otherwise. I still remain great friends with a few of
them today! For the last year and a half of college, God called and challenged
me to start a house church, a New Testament church like found in Acts. It was
simple, informal and the most genuine experience that I have had with the body of
Christ in my whole life. There is no preacher, no formal way of doing things and
no set time frame or schedule. You show up prayed up and ready to let the Holy
Spirit rock you! We dove into scripture, discussed it as a whole, prayed over
it, and watched the Holy Spirit move mountains in our hearts. We were
challenged to think, dig, and discuss, not just listen and walk. We were forced
to take ownership and keep accountable our brothers and sisters. It was true
community, the body at work. One of the greatest things that came of it was not
building lifelong relationships but the discipleship of hungry hearts. Indeed,
there were great times of dinner experimentation, midnight hide and seek,
random karaoke outbreaks, and long walks down dark roads, but we learned what
it meant to be the body, what falling in love with our Creator looks/feels
like, what being Christ’s bride is all about. This was exactly what I needed to
kick-start me into the ministry of coaching and teaching!
Coming out of college, I was
praying and asking God where He wanted me. I got nothing for months. I was
unable to go with my family and I was unable to go other places that I desired
but God knew exactly where He wanted me. He finally revealed that He wanted me
in Normangee, TX, a small school not far from where I grew up. I actually never
even had considered Normangee before that but I was on my way! As I began to
dig my feet in, God enabled me to create amazing relationships with some of my kids
and their families as well as serve at a local church on Wednesday nights! I
was able to disciple some of my athletes and see them grow tremendously in
their passion for the Lord. One of the most amazing times in Normangee was
seeing the Lord transform my kids not in the corporate church scene but at
school! There were days that God would tell me, “Stop what you are doing and
gather them up, I have something to say.” This was at the most random times
like when we were lifting weights or running but I did it anyways! The Holy
Spirit spoke up and floored even me every time! I, as well as the kids, usually
left in deep thought and reflection. Some would stay and seek more. I got to
see high school boys straight up worshipping the Lord and getting personal with
Him during powerlifting practice and even on the way to meets! I will never
forget the times that we worshipped together in the car at 4:30 in the morning
time after time. To see all of this come to, just out of obedience is so sweet
in itself. Simple obedience yields so
much fragrance as well as fruit, not matter what the process may look like.
It was a constant struggle but God did some ‘crazy’ things that year. This was
not only a year of molding for my kids but a year of refreshing revival for me
as well!
The following year, this current year,
God moved me to Crockett High School in Crockett, TX. A lot of the same things that
happened last year are happening here as well, praise God! One of the most amazing ways that God has been teaching me this year is
how to become a simple servant in a pressing atmosphere. “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but
Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants
for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”
has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory
of God in the face of Jesus Christ. …So we do not lose heart. Though our outer
self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this
light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory
beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the
things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the
things that are unseen are eternal.” -2
Corinthians 4:5-6 & 16-18. It
has been a rough process but every day is a new day to ‘shine’ and submit. There
have been many times that God has allowed me to listen, share and pray with my
kids as well as be a father figure. Those are the reasons I teach! Even though
God has done so many things way beyond me, He has used my kids to teach me way
more this year that I could ever teach them! …At the same time, God has started
another house church in my home! It is so refreshing and encouraging to see people
go from distant to curious and from curious to hungry! From hungry to desperate
is a long hard process but we are in this together! “In it to win it!” God has
even begun to transform not just our hearts but the hearts of whole families
through what He is doing on Sunday nights! When we allow the Holy Spirit to
move, even the hardest hearts can be broken and the farthest brought near in
the blink of an eye! That, we have seen with our own eyes. That, we have heard
with our own ears.
The story of His love continues….
Join me as we prayerfully watch the power of God move through the next few chapters with His unrelenting love!
