Deon held me until I quit crying… it was very comforting!
Deon & Rynette, our South African Squad Dad & Mom
At the end of all of this I told the Lord, “Thank You for not giving a picture. This was WAY better.” Then I thought: holy crap! I have a daddy-wound I didn’t even know about… I’m afraid my dad isn’t proud of me. I fear he doesn’t approve of our decision to do this mission.
I think I was aware of this fear prior to Training Camp, but God revealed how deep and numbing this fear is. I have spent the last 2 months trying to give this situation to the Lord… I won’t lie, it hasn’t been easy. I don’t really talk about the World Race around or with my dad. I guess I’m afraid he might speak out against it and it is not something negotiable. I am going. Why? Because God told me to. (Read my blog Confirmative) I guess I’m afraid I might be put into a situation where I have to choose between my father and my Heavenly Father. Don’t want to go there.
But here are a few things that the Lord has revealed to me in the past few weeks. First of all, when Cody turned to hold up my arm, he had NO way of knowing that I was struggling… unless he saw my shaking arm. 
He had to depend on the Father to reveal that to Him.
Lesson 1: My husband hears from God… I need to trust that.
Lesson 2: God put him in my life to be a strong tower. A support. Someone to lift me up when I’m weak… Just like Aaron and Hur holding up Moses’ arms during the Israelites’ battle with the Amalekites. (Read Exodus 17)
Lesson 3: Yes, I am a daddy’s girl, but I am also a Daddy’s girl… I am HIS girl!
Lesson 4: I hear God’s voice.
Lesson 5: He has always been there for me and always will be. (Deuteronomy 31:8) I don’t need any other approval besides His. Period.
For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. Galations 1:10
Ephesians 6:7 tells us, “Obey with enthusiasm, as though serving the Lord and not people.” So that is it. Although I hope to have my dad’s approval, I don’t need it. I pray about it constantly but in the end it won’t affect my decision to support my husband and surrender ourselves to the call of our Father…
So, what about you? What wound are you holding onto that is keeping you from obeying the Lord with enthusiasm? I encourage you to lay it at His feet today!
Dad, if you’re reading this… I just want you to know how much I love and admire you. Please take no offense to this blog. It is simply a part of my journey and I felt the need to share it. You will always be one of my best friends, second only to the Lord and my husband, and hero. And I will ALWAYS be your little girl and mouse. 
I love you, daddy!
