Everyone who has met me knows that I am not a "typical" man. I don't enjoy sports. I only go to Superbowl parties for the food. I hate steak. I have no idea how to change the oil in my nonexistent car, and I feel as if my IQ drops ten points every time another man calls me "bro". Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against men who like football and eat porterhouses. I particularly appreciate mechanics. If it wasn't for them, I'd be up a creek with the Jeep I no longer have.
I've never really fit in with other guys. To be honest, that was one of my biggest concerns going on the Race. I thought, "I'm going to be with the same guys for eleven months. What if I won't be able to relate to them? What if they can't relate to me?" Not only are my interests different; my struggles are different, too. I arrived at Training Camp a very insecure and intimidated guy.
You see, a lot of Bible studies and books for men revolve around a "typical" man's interest. Church announcement: "This month, we are going to talk about what it is to be a champion for God! Let us show you this slide of a football player scoring a touchdown." No thanks. Most church groups appeal to one type of man – The Macho. As Seinfeld would say, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." But what about the seemingly less macho guys? For the longest time, I felt awkward and uncomfortable around other men.
Last week, I was at our Ministry Contact's library. In it was a book called Wild at Heart. My Teammate Jordan encouraged me to read it because she was reading the female counterpart of the book called Captivating. She said her book challenges the typical image of women in the church. I figured I'd give it a whirl. Maybe this book would challenge the image of the typical man.
Before I go any further, I will say that I started the book from a critic's standpoint expecting it to perpetuate The Macho. Perhaps that was inconsiderate of me. However, the first half of the book did that exactly. I quickly became tired of passages about fishing, William Wallace, and how the author wanted to be a cowboy when he grew up. Great. Another sports analogy? Wake me up at the end of this chapter. Yay. More quotes from "Gladiator"? I expressed my frustrations with the book to my Team. They asked, "Why are you still reading it?" Well, God told me to finish it.
So, I did. I will say that the author redeemed himself with the second half. I admittedly focused too much on his personal experiences and not on the general points that he was trying to make. He talks about how there is an adventurer and warrior inside every man. The beauty in this, though, is that God created every man differently. There is a sense of adventure in me. I'd rather travel the globe in search for the world's best cup of coffee instead of camping for a weekend. I have a warrior inside of me as well. Maybe the battle that God has called me to fight is against the Enemy's assault on fatherless children.
The men on my Squad have loved me so well, and they have helped me answer what a man of God truly is. They don't look at me as weak or weird. They don't define me by my past. We look at each other as valuable brothers in Christ. I think of my best friend, Andrew. We were on a Team together for nine months. He loves basketball; I don't. I love coffee; he doesn't. Our struggles are different. We are actually different in almost every way possible, but it doesn't matter. What do we have in common? We love God, and Jesus is the victor over sin in our life. That's all we need to be have a genuine friendship.
For the first time in my life, I am comfortable and proud of the man God created me to be.
