In my past blog I mentioned about learning to trust the Lord with my furture. I am also practicising trusting in the Lord in other areas. Financial provision.
The WR requires that racers are fully funded six months into their Race.
I did not make that deadline. It was due January first. Two months ago.
As days went past the deadline negative thoughts coursed through my mind.
Comparison. Feelings of being less than. Rejection and irritability.
” Clearly your squad mates have more influence.”
“They are special and you are not.”
“Nobody cares about you.”
“People with financial influence clearly don’t care.”
“My squad mates don’t care enough to get the word out of my need”
You can see that bitterness towards others set in.
I don’t see people that are for me. I see them apathetically against me. I see my situation as a burden that is holding me back and that everyone is leaving me in the dust. Something I call “the forgotten Clare mentality.”
The crutch is that I am not giving weight where weight is due.
The Lord is the only source that illeviates the burdens of comparison, feelings of less than, rejection and irritabiltity.
Not people.
For as much as people have good intentions they will always let you down.
Not to cast a black cloud over people. In my opinion, humans are awesome. But, they can’t fill the gap in our hearts. They will never complete us.
The only fulfiller and constant source of acceptance, unconditional love and joy is found in God.
Not saying that it is easier to place it into God’s hands.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable.
Putting trust in a non-tangible object isn’t natural or logical.
However, He is the only one who provides a deep sense of confidence and peace. Jesus is a life long pursuit of mine. Choosing the Lord first. And pursuing relationship with Him.
All the best my prayer warriors, friends and family,
You are the ones who helped me get here,
for that I am thankful,
Clare
If you have any questions please message me via email: [email protected]
