Some days I’m more scared than I am excited, I have more questions than I know the answers to, and most of my time is spent adding 5 things to the to do list every time I cross 1 off.
I often find myself wondering what on earth am I doing?
As training and launch dates become finalised, flights are being booked, and it’s becoming increasingly apparent that this is actually happening, it is suddenly terrifying. Some days the mild hysteria is tinged with excitement and anticipation, on a lot of days however it is not.
As the weeks and days tick down to when I will pack my two bags (yes that’s right two!?) and head on that plane to Atlanta the list of things to worry about looms larger.
Today I sat here and wondered what would happen if I stripped it back. Why am I doing this? What made me spend hours filling that application in? What fuelled my prayers of hoping to be accepted?
Ultimately whatever way I phrased it, whatever question I asked myself I came back to the same concrete answer:
I am doing this because of Jesus.
Because Jesus loves me.
Because Jesus died for me, for all of us; and because I want to live in a world where everyone knows that.
Behind the stress and complications of life lies that one everlasting thing. Jesus. Sometimes life calls us to step back and reorganise priorities, today I spent time doing just that.
And no the list of tasks for tomorrow hasn’t got any shorter, but it no longer fills me with dread. Shifting the focus off all the things I can’t do, I looked instead to what can Jesus do. Nothing is impossible for my God, so why should anything on my scary to-do list challenge that.
This week I’m challenging myself to believe in that promise everyday: that nothing is impossible, to believe in the miraculous, and remember to focus on one thing.
