CHAIN (n.)- a series of metal links or rings that are connected to each other in a line and used for supporting heavy things, for holding things together.
I’m angry. People are around; going about their conversations as if we didn’t just witness a CHAIN. A woman on a CHAIN. She is alone and waking up right about now. I stroked her hair as she dosed off to sleep. We left her on a bench with a red pillow gently holding her head. Does she feel abandoned? Have I abandoned her?
We were forced to leave our ministry site with only a few hours of notice. But the past six days will forever be engrained in my mind…
The most beautiful moment of my life thus far:
Moam. Homeless. Raped. Addicted. Prostituted. Wandering. And she fell asleep in my arms. She trusted me enough to let me in; to her mind and her heart. I laid on that cold, cell-like room speaking softly to Moam. The beams of light radiated through the barred window as she laid next to me. With her head resting on my shoulder, she looked up with that sweet smile. What a smile! I tearfully smiled back and was met with a bear hug. Her arm laid across me as she drifted off to sleep. It was beautiful. In that precious moment there was no rage or panic. Just two daughters of the Kingdom taking a nap. The floor was wet with urine and the smell was overbearing at times. But I have never felt more at peace with where God has placed me. It was more heaven like than any country, church, school or home I’ve ever been in.
That 10×6 room represents the unjust I see in this world. We have all, at one time or another, sat on our comfortable sofa surrounded by the ease of our blessings and decided to turn off the news. We may have the ability to do just that at home but my eyes cannot turn off what I see. My heart cannot turn off what it feels. But I have good news. The Lord is good all the time. When I smell the urine I laid in, when I heard her cries in the night, when I remember the chain….He is good; though I lack comprehension of His plan within these moments. I was angry. My anger was not toward God but with Cambodia. With the government. With the world. How could I make this anger subside?
Tears. Oh how I cried. I have never wept more in my life. My tears began as tears of extreme anguish. My heart physically ached for her and for the miraculous women and children we were surrounded by.
The CHAIN. The vision will not leave my mind. I held her arms as they put on the CHAIN…I am filled with guilt.
I quietly speak to my Father, “Please be my strength. Allow me to breath. Wipe my tears.Take my anger.”
to be continued…
