Tonight I lit a campfire. Like I've stated several times before I currently work at a summer camp full time. I have been working here for over two years and let me tell ya I could fill a book with all of the stories that I've accumulated in my brain during that time. Let's just say it's the best job I could ever ask for. The Lord has been SOO good! We currently are having a retreat out at camp and for some reason tonight I just got in the worst mood, which I hope at least someone can relate, that it's not great when you are trying to share Christ with others. I just all the sudden wanted to be alone and didn't want to be around anyone. I decided to take the campfire responsibility all on my own. Honestly I felt like my attitude would be contagious to others and I didn't want that to happen. I think just exhaustion just kicked in and this crazy Texas weather is now causing my allergies to go nuts therefore causing headaches and a very sore throat…so not cool Lonestar state! After realizing that I had no clue how to begin to build a fire I sought assistance…thank goodness I have good co-workers (who know how to build a fire). It was now my responsibility to light the fire and keep it going long enough for the group to make s'mores…ok so I get to this beautifully built fire and realize I have a box of matches and wet wood…for those that have lit campfires in the past, wet wood SUCKS! After 4 matches did NOTHING I was beginning to get frustrated…here I was not feeling well, super exhausted, and all I wanted to do was light a fire! This should not be this difficult. Well finally I sought assistance again but this time in the way of lighter fluid! Let's just say I only had to light one more match! Whoop! (sorry aggie…we do it a lot). With great success actually seeing a flame…here I sit…It's 10:20pm and the perfect time to ponder life right? What does that phrase even mean "ponder life". How can you ponder life? I mean sure you can think about your life where you are at now, where you hope to be in a few years, but honestly WE HAVE NO CONTROL so what does it matter. Yes, I have dreams and hopes and wants, but I know that God's plan is SO MUCH COOLER than mine and I know that I am so THANKFUL that I don't have to worry or be anxious or sit here and really ponder life because I know that God has it in His hands and I'm in GOOD HANDS. Perfect example, the other day I kept thinking to myself…I can't do this…I can't leave for 11 months…what am I going to miss while I'm gone…I mean I could have friends that get engaged or have babies or get married…What if I miss out on some crazy awesome thing that's supposed to happen in my life because I'm gone. I'm sad to say this lasted longer than I would have liked and then suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks…CLAIRE THIS IS GOD'S WILL STOP TRYING TO ARGUE WITH HIM HE HAS IT ALL UNDER CONTROL AND YOU'RE DOING EXACTLY WHAT HE HAS CALLED YOU TO DO! Ok ok ok ok…stupid freak out moment officially over. It's tough not gonna lie, but I know that the reward is far greater than anything I can imagine. I am humbled and I am just in awe how God has orchestrated all of this PERFECTLY! Our God is a BIG God and I encourage you DON'T FORGET THAT! Great verse that I read the other day, "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalms 16:11.
