So, this blog is one that has been on my mind for some time and has threads in so many directions that are interwoven with everything. But I’ll try and tell this web of a story, and will try and give it justice.
I have for a long time felt like I was the one responsible for the protection of any and all of my sisters. I had a situation arise in Nicaragua, where I was attacked by a group of street kids, and once I had got to the hostel I grabbed another racer and headed back, why? Cause I knew that there were other racers down there and felt like I needed to go protect them. When I got to them, it was too late; they too had been attacked by the street kids. It brought me to a place of questioning my masculinity and if I could protect anyone, even myself. Of course I knew many of the answers in my head that it wasn’t my fault and that I couldn’t protect them only God could.
But that doesn’t mean that I really didn’t believe it, I felt emasculated. And felt like I wasn't a man. Then we forward a while. And we make it to Thailand. Where we worked with She an organization that ministers to people in the Sex trade. I visited the Red light district, and saw so many women there in such a bad place I knew that the only thing I could do was pray for them. Then we headed to debrief in Thailand, we got there early in the morning and decided to go to see the sun rise at the beach, it was great. As we walked back we found other racers and decided to head back toward the beach.
As we walked a few scooters came down the road toward us. I didn’t think anything about them at all then they slowed down and I was up against the buildings and one of the riders came up and slapped the other racer in front of me on the butt, then proceeded to grab my to put it mildly my private parts. Full on grab as she? did this I was at first in shock I didn’t know what had happened it was really wired. As I thought about it more I realized it was a ladyboy.
That’s right I had been groped by a ladyboy. How weird, how crazy how strange. As the day went on, I realized I couldn’t even protect myself, only God can do that. Then I realized I really didn’t want to forgive the ladyboy that grabbed me I wanted to hide it in a corner and not talk about it. Then while we were worshiping I realized I had to tell people, I told one racer and they walked me through a prayer of forgiving them, even if I didn’t want to I knew I had to.
The next day I told my team and after a few days I didn’t think about it again, I simply wanted to block it from my head. But then we ended up in KL for our free time and well see my blogs about the brothel for more on it. But as we prayed I was saying that I was simply praying for God to protect the girls, I also prayed for protection for myself and Ed. But I knew that truly the only one that could protect the girls was God I couldn’t do a thing but pray. So that’s what I did.
I realize that it took long for this work to happen in me and in my heart, but I now rest in Gods protection of each of his sons & daughters, all of them the ones I know and care for and the ones I have never meet in my life.
So men I challenge you to really dig into this idea of protection being masculine, especially all of the Men on the race or that are going or even have been ask God what his protection is and what your role in it is.
I hope that it doesn’t take being grabbed inappropriately to get to this place, it has happened again to me since the first time, but it didn’t affect me the same way at all. I pray that no one goes through this same experience that I did.
All of God’s Love and Protection
