“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-18
Lately, I have been reminded over and over again to live with an abundance mentality.
A couple of weeks ago I bought some vanilla ice cream and coke to share during mega Lumi P feedback time and after dishing out a bit to everyone there was a tub of ice cream left and about 1/2 a bottle of coke that I figured I would be able to eat later whenever I wanted.
The next day I got the ice cream out and coke (noticing that there was considerably less than I had put back, but letting it slide) and made another coke float for myself and offered the people around me to make one for themselves, but no one did except Katie which I was alright with figuring that maybe they'll want one later and somehow I guess I expected them to ask if they did end up eating some…
The following day I was really craving ice cream and excited at dinner time to get a bowl of ice cream after and as I was sitting in my room trying to figure out when to go down I realized that when I had looked in the refrigerator earlier there was definitely less coke or no coke left and then I started wondering if there would be ice cream left so I asked my roommates and one of them said I saw people eating ice cream earlier….
Something inside of me roared…I was angry because no one told me they ate my ice cream or asked if they could have any…and I was really looking forwad to eating some later…
The girls in my room were like well I think people were under the impression that since you shared the ice cream and coke the first time that automatically both things became communal…
WHAT?! Why would any one think that? Isn't it just courtesy that if it's something personal that you should ask or at least tell that person you're eating the food they bought with their own money?
I had to go check if there was any ice cream left at all and as I went downstairs I felt the bile rising up and I just wanted to scream at everyone if there wasn't…
I opened the freezer and it was empty…no ice cream in sight….I took a deep breath…marched back upstairs and annouced to the people in my room that I needed prayer and automatically my teammates prayed for me. I felt better after and was like ok….I'll be ok….I don't need to know who ate my ice cream…I have forgiven them…life will still go on….
But something inside me was asking…Christine…why are you getting so upset over ice cream?? It's only food…you can buy more later and your gift is giving…you normally give with a cheerful spirit….what's wrong now?
"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." – 2 Corinthians 9:6-8
Why was I so upset? And I realized that I have an unhealthy dependence on food (ice cream in particular). I turn to food for comfort and ice cream for joy.
God is calling me to depend solely on Him for comfort and joy and to trust that He abundantly provides.
When I let go of the things I think I need and let God provide and give into His desires, life does always turn out better.
The next day Katie was super sweet and ended up buying me a tub of ice cream! I am super grateful for her and her giving spirit. I did end up sharing the ice cream with the rest of the team during team time and I was perfectly happy to do it.
God does desire to give to us abundantly as long as we are depending on Him to provide. I am learning to trust and rely on God and letting go of my physical comforts of food.
