So many people develop a bitter taste in their mouths
Unwilling to consider the possibility of a God
holding on to the tribulation and hurt you’ve experienced
Carrying around gaping wounds that never seem to heal
Hope vanished, unretrieveable lost in the black abyss of life
Betrayal, loss, neglect
All you know of life hurts
You are like a small babe
that’s chosen to be perfectly content playing in a plastic baby pool
That’s all fine and dandy until you look behind you
and see that the vast ocean lies steps away.
Will you stay in your pool and continue to feel false satisfaction?
Or will you venture into the unknown?
Test the waters, I dare you.
I don’t doubt you have been beaten, broken, and lie crippled unable to imagine any glimmer of hope
I was there I lived for twenty years before even noticing the ocean
And just as I dared you, someone dared me
Test the waters.
With all of my wounds I ventured into the ocean
Slowly I waded in
Skeptical and doubting
Full of questions I felt my soul pull me further and further in
the way gravity keeps me rooted on Earth so the Lord pulled me in
Until I was fully immersed
Needing no oxygen
Finding that there’s more to this world than the small stuff I knew
God, breathe breath into my lungs because I am incapable.
Now, you’re probably shaking your head
Doubting that I understand your life, your hurt
A naive young girl trying to preach hope in a desolate, dark world
You’re right, I don’t.
But I will tell you about my hurt.
My whole life I have had headaches
The term migraine has left me bitter but if you have defined a difference between the two, consider them migraines
They’re bad and they never leave.
Doctors of all sorts have tried to help
Nothing this world has to offer would alleviate my pain
A prisoner, A leach attached, sucking away my life
Living in a fog that never lifts.
And when I stepped in that water and gave God a try my pain didn’t leave
But the more I got to know the Man himself
the more the pain didn’t matter
I struggled with the question,
why
Why me
Why all of the time?
But ultimately, when I stepped out of that baby pool my hurt became small
Looking into a light still felt like a knife was piercing my brain,
Sounds still made my head pound,
And all other causes still proved affective.
There was no rapid healing, no quick remedy
God didn’t heal me
And for a long time I didn’t think He could or He would
I dedicated my life to serving this good, powerful, wonderful God without question of the ending result of my headaches
If I had a headache every day until my last that would be fine because it was worth it
And after seeing so much hurt in the world I didn’t even request to be healed
My hurt seemed miniscule compared to that of so many others
However, after a month in bed, participating in little ministry due to my pain my contact came to me proclaiming I would be healed
Hearing him pray in faith to a God that does heal sparked something inside of me
Maybe I should be like that
So I began asking God for things that I couldn’t possibly imagine
And on Easter He revealed to me that He, indeed, healed me God saw me, a young woman without tremendous pain compared to others, and healed me
I didn’t write this so you would dive into the ocean awaiting the day God wipes away your pain
I wrote it because he’s worth it even if He doesn’t wipe it away
And you’ll find that out
Just test out the waters, I promise you it’s worth it.
