I've blogged about asking God for a new dream in this season, but I had an interaction with my pastor a few months ago that really changed my mind on what to pray for. I was explaining to him what the World Race was, why I was determined to go, and how I was hoping to find my destiny. In the following conversation, we talked about what it meant to find destiny–after all, if I found it on the World Race, how would I ever return? And if I didn't find it, how would I have the energy to carry on serving for an entire year?
The heart of the matter lay the orphan spirit–the idea that you have to leave your community to find your destiny, that no place is called home.
This is, in fact, untrue.
God has shown me over the course of these preparation months that He can and will change me and use me no matter where I am, no matter what capacity I'm serving in. I feel like I can't press this point enough because the World Race is not an avenue to escape reality. It's not meant as a way to seek your own wholeness, or to suddenly transform into the perfect Christian. The World Race is an avenue to serve God and His people, to share hope, to show love, to live joy.
As I'm currently stockpiling medical bills and REI receipts for vaccinations and gear, respectively, I'm brought to the matter that the World Race has a cost. It's an obvious financial cost, but also an emotional and physical cost. I'll be separated from family, friends, and my church community for almost a year. I'll be missing a dear friend's wedding, multiple births of long-awaited children, and literally everyone's birthday (except for you June babies!). I'll be at risk for intense sickness and danger, possibly death. Yet, I feel blessed to have had the time to count the cost, to know what I'm giving up to follow Christ. I want to walk into this experience knowing that I haven't romanticized it, that nothing has been taken from me but that I freely give up this comfortable existance to pursue something, Someone, greater than myself. I go with a heart to serve others, and to die to my own fleshly desires.
In conclusion, I am glad to be sent from my home community of the San Francisco Bay Area out into the world, and I carry the eager expectation of returning to share all that I have seen, heard, learned, and loved. Thank you for sending your prayers and your blessings with me, it is an honor to represent you all and call you my family.
