I first signed up for the World Race in a flurry of passion. I definitely didn't know what I was getting into (I still don't!) but I was so eager to give up everything for Jesus that it didn't matter. Passion for God is great, but I've been learning that it also must be refined.
I originally applied to the January 2012 route when I first heard of The World Race in late August. When I interviewed with the World Race, I was honest to the point of tears about my recent turnaround to Jesus and unloaded some raw information about my hard-partying past, my ex-boyfriend, and my parents. So when my interviewer called and asked if I'd consider the July 2012 route instead due to what she heard during her own prayer time I felt like it was a slap in the face. Was I "not Christian enough"? Was I too messed up to serve God? Didn't she know that I was ready to give up a great career and comfortable life to live in a cannibal village in Rwanda for Jesus (Fact: Christine Louie, alumnus Racer and current member of my church, lived among cannibals in Rwanda during her World Race so I am not being that melodramatic. Another fact: I'll be living in Rwanda in September. Pray for me.)? Didn't she know that I was, wait for it, really smart? I mean seriously, how many people like me ever want to be missionaries? (And then God rebuked me. Because I was thinking like a punk.)
But first, I had to lay my offense at His feet. I told my interviewer I'd "pray about it" over the weekend with the full intention of coming right back at her with "God says it's fine. I can leave in January. You should probably work on hearing His voice better." I basically stewed at my desk for the rest of the day and even considered not going on The World Race at all. When I was finally driving home from work, I began to open my mouth and pray and I was surprised at where my prayers led. The flurry leading up to my World Race application started with God, but somehow it became about me along the way, and God really needed to return me to the real reason why I was going. I want to go because I love You and I want to obey You. If you want me to go, I will gladly go. If you want me to stay in my cubicle for the next 35 years, I will gladly stay. I want to follow Your leading, and I know no matter how this situation turns out You will be glorified, I prayed.
A few things happened after I prayed that made me understand it was time to wait. The prophetic team at Naos spoke over me words about waiting for about 20 minutes on Friday (and I didn't even tell them what I wanted prayer for. So picture me extremely disgruntled, sitting there and receiving a ton of words about waiting when that's the last thing I wanted to hear.). Then my pastor's sermon Saturday night was about being drawn into seasons of waiting/solitude like John on his prison island where he actually began writing his portions of the Bible, his lasting legacy. Finally, I was praying about the previous 2 experiences on Sunday and if they really addressed waiting on The World Race or just other parts of my life, and I heard God so clearly say, Last week you prayed to learn how to obey. This is the opportunity. Obey. Just for good measure, I switched on the TV on Monday and some show was on where the plot was entirely about waiting, at which point I thought, Very funny, God. You can stop speaking about this now, I get the point.
Needless to say, when it was time to talk to my interviewer I told her she heard correctly and that I'd love to go on the July 2012 trip, route 2. God's timing is really the best! My roommate is moving out the same time as me now so breaking the lease won't be an issue, I've had time to get vaccinations, and God has done so much healing in my life and He continues to teach me about maintaining intimacy with Him! Instead of leaving for this trip in a rush and completely unprepared, I've been able to put my heart and soul into preparing and God's been breaking off all the wrong reasons I've had for going (another blog about that soon!). I've really learned that being submitted to His will is always in my best interest, and that the magnitude that God works isn't dependent on being abroad–God will be God here in good ole' San Francisco as much as He will be in Uganda this October. My answer just has to be yes and amen!
