I have to admit something that probably won’t come as a shock to most of you.
I’m a cry baby.
When I get sad there is no holding back the waterworks.
I shouldn’t have been taught that the Lord loves me in all of
my mess because I am so not ashamed when a good cry comes along.
In the past week –
I cried in the car. (for a good twenty minutes.)
I cried in my room. (during a Friends rerun.)
I cried in the kitchen at my house. (in front of my grandparents.)
I cried in the kitchen at work. (in front of a bunch of people.)
I cried at church. (uncontrollably.)
I cried in my dad’s arms. (and couldn't even tell him why.)
I cried in a few friends’ arms…
I cried in the car. (for a good twenty minutes.)
I cried in my room. (during a Friends rerun.)
I cried in the kitchen at my house. (in front of my grandparents.)
I cried in the kitchen at work. (in front of a bunch of people.)
I cried at church. (uncontrollably.)
I cried in my dad’s arms. (and couldn't even tell him why.)
I cried in a few friends’ arms…
…you get the point.
I am very emotional right now.
Now do NOT get me wrong,
knowing that I’m only 28 days away from
sharing the love of Jesus to people in different Nations excites me to no end,
but I also know that in 28 days I have no control at home.
knowing that I’m only 28 days away from
sharing the love of Jesus to people in different Nations excites me to no end,
but I also know that in 28 days I have no control at home.
Who is going to do my baby sister’s hair for prom and graduation her senior year?
Ma and I have lunch at least once a week.
Who is going to take her to lunch when I’m not there?
Who is going to love on my best friends when they need encouragement
or when they just need someone to cuss and vent to when life seems stinky?
Ma and I have lunch at least once a week.
Who is going to take her to lunch when I’m not there?
Who is going to love on my best friends when they need encouragement
or when they just need someone to cuss and vent to when life seems stinky?
I bet you can guess the answer…
I am.
No, not I am as in ME.
I am as in HIM. As in Jesus is the Great I Am.
I know that Jesus will take care of them.
He may not mysteriously do Courtney’s eye shadow like I would
or take Ma to get chicken salad sandwiches that come with mini cups of cake
(I’m not going to say He wouldn’t because that would be AWESOME and I’m not going to limit Him!)
but HE is totally and completely in control of their lives and mine.
He may not mysteriously do Courtney’s eye shadow like I would
or take Ma to get chicken salad sandwiches that come with mini cups of cake
(I’m not going to say He wouldn’t because that would be AWESOME and I’m not going to limit Him!)
but HE is totally and completely in control of their lives and mine.
So, my dear friends, if you see me crying the next few weeks,
do not fret. I may be grieving but this is just part of the journey.
I am completely resting in the Lord and giving Him all control.
“Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery in their lives. But the world presents you with an endless series of problems. As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you. The relief you anticipated is short-lived. Soon your mind is gearing up again: searching for understanding (mastery), instead of seeking Me (your Master).”
-Jesus Calling
-Jesus Calling
