Looking back at my journal from this last year, I see so many answered prayers. I love writing out my prayer because I get to see things that the Lord has laid on my heart. I ask Him for things that I would never even think to ask for. It’s God’s spirit revealing those desires to me.
I kept asking for the same thing over and over.
I asked God to help me die.
I know, I know, I know you have your hand on my life right now. Keep it there. I am so excited to see what you’re going to do… I can honestly say that when it comes to bettering the Kingdom that I am trying to put myself last. Everything I do. Everything that I say. Every decision. Every situation should be for Your benefit…
My name is Christina Love Hall. I’m obsessed with outer appearance. J Crew makes me weak in the knees. I place value in possessions. I am insecure but I hide it well so no one will know. I’m actually a really nice person but I think about myself way more than others so I can’t reach as many people as I can. I’m SELFISH. I expect things to go my way. I hide my sin and struggles because I have too much pride and I want people to think I’m strong.
I’m Christina and this used to be me, but for the past year and a half…
Dying to yourself is not an instant thing. My flesh wasn’t giving up without a fight. I found myself at a place where I had given up so much of my desires that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. It caused confusion and fear of not being ready for this adventure. BUT my God is faithful and has given me a sound mind in the coolest way.
Two weeks ago today, I took a team from my church to Haiti for a week. We put together a fantastic VBS for a small school, blessed an orphanage with food and supplies, and spent our afternoons walking the dusty streets, relying completely on the Lord’s direction. Our trip leader from Adventures in Missions pushed the limits of our faith by making us practice listening in prayer.
During an exercise we separated into two lines. There was a line of prayers who were instructed to close their eyes so their own thoughts didn’t clutter what the Lord was trying to say. My line was instructed to go stand in front of someone praying and wait until they were ready to share. I stood in front of my youth pastor. Without knowing who I was, he said that it felt like he was watching a movie of a funeral. There was someone shaking hands with friends and family while they paid their respects. He noticed that the person shaking hands was happy. When it was his turn to shake their hand he could see in the casket. The person joyfully shaking hands was the same person in the casket. It was me.
It confirmed that I needed to rejoice and be secure in the unknown.
I’m not supposed to know who I am anymore.
The old me is dead and I get to find my identity in Him.
He has blessed me an opportunity to get away from distractions and just spend time with Him. For 11 months, traveling the world, surrounded by a group of people who have already agreed to lift me up and speak life into me.
My name is Christina Love Hall. In 17 days, I officially give up my family and friends, my comfort, and my possessions so I can be a part of God’s Kingdom on earth. I don’t know what He has in store yet but I am sure that it is good!
If you would like to be a part of this experience with me then please pray about supporting me financially! I still have a lot of things to get ready before I leave. No donation is too small and every penny is appreciated. Love ya’ll!
