This is a picture of my feet, in an airport, wearing Chacos.
Now for some of you this may be a normal occurrence however, for me, it is not. Growing up in Orange County there are some things you just don’t do (wear jeans with running shoes, wear Tevas/Chacos in public places, wear Crocs ever, etc) So, as silly as it may sound, and as ridiculous as it may be, wearing Chacos in an airport was a small but significant step of faith for me.
As I arrived to training camp I had Chacos on my feet but lots of fear and doubt in my heart.
I didn’t feel ready. I felt as though the people in my squad were more “Christian” then I was, that their only sins were that they distracted someone else by singing too loud during worship, or that they forgot their best friend was allergic to peanut butter when they surprised them with cookies.
It was the feeling of “these people are all _____ (“good Christians,” never make mistakes, perfectly selfless….fill in the blank) and I am not.”
Instead I often question my faith and beliefs, I sometimes know what the right thing is but then chose to do something else anyways. Sometimes I doubt if what God has for me is really better than what I am leaving behind. Could someone like that, someone like me, really serve well on a trip like this?
Luckily for me, the thing about assumptions is that they are usually wrong. As I started to share my story and ask others about theirs, I found that we were all more similar than I thought. Every major issue I had in my life, there was someone else who struggled or struggles with the same thing I do.
None of us had it all together, none of them fit the “perfect Christian” stereotype I was imposing on them, but everyone I met had an amazing spirit and an unquestionable heart for serving others.
And then it hit me, you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be willing.
It was never going to be a good time for me to wear Chacos in an airport, I am never going to be 100% blameless and pure, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t go.
“If we wait Until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives. “
–Lemony Snicket
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