The Killing
My experience while walking around The Killing Fields of Phnom Penh, Cambodia
How can I describe what I felt when I came upon an excavated mass grave that was filled with the remains of men who were burned alive, mutilated and/or tortured before they were executed. How can one take in the emotional effects of approaching an excavated mass grave that was full of woman and children that were almost all found naked. Or the excavated grave of 100 headless bodies. Are there words? Tears fell.
Then there’s the tree . . . the tree that they smashed children heads against and then threw them into the closest pit.
Rage.
As I walked around, I was overcome. God, how can we do this to each other?
As I came back to the front, I finally decided to go into the big commemorative building. The 17 story high building was filled with skulls, long bones, short bones, jaws, etc. I placed my flower in the pot and just sat there, tears streaming. How could I hold them in? All these innocent people. . .
The evil words of Pol Pot rang in my head, 
” It’s not a gain to keep you and it’s no loss to loose you.” How is a man overcome by evil?
The Khmer Rouge happened so recently (1974 – 1979), but we’ve learned our lesson from history haven’t we? Don’t forget about the Rwandan genocide in 1994 where hundreds of thousands were also killed. The Rwandans no longer differentiate themselves as Hutu or Tutsis. “We are all Rwandans,” I was told on my flight to Rwanda a couple years ago as I sat next to a young man from Rwanda. They have learned from their past. Can we not learn from them also? From the Khmer Rouge? From the Holocaust? Or do we have to keep repeating history?
We have had countless times to get it right. In my mind, we are so above that. It’ s 2010! We know we are all equal, don’t we? We all are beautiful, made in the image of God; representing different cultures; offering different perspectives and ways of doing things . . .
Maybe we don’t. For there is genocide going on right now in our world. Do I really have to go to Cambodia to see glass cases full of skulls to be a defender of justice? I thought I cared. I received the email updates from SaveDarfur. I sent in money at times; was it all just to ease my own conscience?
I can’t stand it anymore. I feel God moving within me. I pray that He will bring together my passions for nursing, global health, and now issues of JUSTICE. I can no longer just sit and let things like this happen.
Yea, I know. I’m only a 26 year old woman. What am I going to do, go to Darfur and stop the Janjaweed from attacking the local people trying to take refuge in the local displacement camps or protect the woman who is vulnerable while she walks to get water? I don’t know the answers. I know I will be more informed than I was. I know that I am willing to go where ever God wants me to go. And if I can help in any way I will. If I can protect some one, I will. If I can fight for someone, I will.
