My heart was racing as the guards walked us through the halls, I had never been to jail before. I’m a good girl, I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket. I don’t know how to act in a place like this, they’ll smell the fear on me! But as we entered into the four walls of the prison, my fear melted away and was replaced with the Holy Spirit. There they were, eagerly sitting, waiting for us to arrive. They were beautiful. They looked like any other women I see on the streets. Like any other mother, daughter, grandmother, or sister.
As I looked around at all the women, I no longer cared what they did in their past, the reasons they were here, or the thing that they did to put them in chains. I no longer cared about what mistakes they made. After all my past isn’t a picture of perfection, just because I never did anything bad enough or got caught…how different is it any ways? Haven’t we all messed up…aren’t we all sinners? Suddenly the differences that separated me from them got a whole lot smaller.
All I cared about was letting them know how loved they were. We started with the songs, silent night and in Christ Alone. As we stood before them, all I could see was the beauty in their faces. All I could feel was the hope that Jesus could offer them. It took everything in me to hold it together and to not start bursting into tears at the thought of how much freedom Jesus had just waiting for them.
I wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs, that there is so much hope in the name of Jesus. I wanted to tell them that it doesn’t matter what they did or what chains they were held in. That Jesus came to set the captives free. He came for those women. He came for you and He came for me. He gets down on his knees, on our level in our brokenness, and doesn’t just look into our eyes…he looks into our souls and calls us His. He calls us beautiful.
And although I didn’t shout it at the top of my lungs, when we said our goodbyes, I got to kneel before each woman and look into her eyes. I got to see what Jesus sees. And you know what I saw, I saw hope and beauty. I didn’t see brokenness or a past full of more pain than I could ever comprehend (pain that probably caused them to take the wrong path in the first place). I saw the hope of a future that only Jesus could offer them. A future that Jesus died for to offer them.
We as humans are so quick to judge. To place boundaries in our lives, to keep us “safe”. We look at our perfect records and decide who is worthy enough to be associated with, who and what is safe and who is dangerous. In Jesus’ ministry, there were no boundaries. No one deemed too unsafe or unworthy. In Jesus’ ministry, there were no lost causes. Even if one of those women were sentenced to life, even if she were never to place a single foot outside those prison walls, Jesus could still offer her an eternity of freedom. Jesus could overturn any sentence given to her by man.
When Jesus looks at those women, He doesn’t see their mistakes, he doesn’t see thief, murderer, prostitute, convict, or prisoner, he sees the hope of the future He can give to them.
After many games, outbursts of laughter, and a spontaneous dance party, I had almost forgotten where I was at…
It was the most freedom I’ve ever experienced, dancing around in the center of a circle, holding hands with one of the women, teaching her how we dance in America. I laughed as I sit here reflecting on that beautiful day…leave it to our God, for me to find freedom in the four walls of a prison in Thailand.
