This month looks a little bit different for me. Instead of traveling to the different teams scattered around which ever country we are in I am in one place for the entire month! It's so great to be able to unpack for the first time in 5 months!
Ministry is something that brings me so much life, joy, and energy! I was so excited to be in one place for a whole month and to have the opportunity to really plug into a ministry. But I have to be honest and dramatic at the same time and admit that I feel like I'm dying…
This month I am serving at Casa Maria in Antigua, Guatemala, which is a nursing home, well more like hospice with out medicine, or a psych ward without physicians for the elderly. Monday through Friday, 9am-4pm, I sit in the back room of Casa Maria with 20 plus patients who can't afford medical care, where they are wheeled out of their one room of 20 beds to a concrete covered area outside. While I have grown to love Jorge, Julia, Christina, Amarosa, Julia, and the others, my heart also breaks for them…
I hate that a man is tied to a poll for the rest of his years left here on earth because of his mental state that the nurses don't know what more to do with him and that he gnaws on his hands while soaking in his own drool.
I hate that a blind woman vomits on herself constantly throughout the day and moans in pain.
I hate that a man has been abandoned by his family and cradles a baby doll in the corner believing that it is real.
I hate that a woman is crying because she is sitting in her own waste and has to wait for the nurses to change her at a certain time.
I hate that these people are told there's no medicine to help them.
I hate that these people are living out their final years in pain.
The first couple days I walked into Casa Maria with wide eyes, a big smile, and child like faith, ready to see the blind be healed, the lame walk, and the captivated set free. But after spending two weeks here I have found that I am facing some pretty big giants. I am facing countless situations that are against all odds. I am facing impossibilities.
This is hard… Probably one of the hardest ministries I've ever had to do…
But you can never let the circumstances of life define what truth is.
And I know this to be true…
I know that God loves defeating giants…
I know that I am God's daughter, His beloved, His chosen one, whom He has called to go into the Nation's and be a part of the Great Commission.
I know that God is strengthening my walk in Him… That He is desiring me to press in deeper, push harder, to keep praying for the impossible to be possible, to keep depending on Him, to keep trusting and believing in Him.
Because this is where faith is built… Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Even though I "feel" like my prayers aren't being answered, or I don't see miracles happen the way "I" want them to I have to keep praying for these people, I have to keep loving them, because if I don't who will…
I am desperate for God to show up in this place… For His healing and peace to come which transcends all understanding. Because from the outside looking in the giants I am facing at Casa Maria are huge and for healing to happen seems impossible…
There seems to be no hope…
But I know that it's in these moments that God gets to show off. Just like He did when David defeated Goliath, or when He made the sun stand still for Joshua. When He parted the red sea for Moses, or when He raised His one and only Son from the dead.
You see, our God is a God who makes the impossible possible… and I believe this still to be true…
It's here in Antigua, Guatemala where I am in the trenches and I feel like I am in way over my head… And it's here in Antigua, Guatemala where I have 2 more weeks to press in and believe that God will do the impossible, that He will defeat these giants.
On Mother's Day the girls and I had the opportunity to hike Pacaya Volcano at sunset where we have the amazing view of 3 other sunsets! One of my most beautiful days on the Race!
Love you and miss you Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
