The end of month 3 is a month of transition… It's a time when our wonderful squad leaders (who have already done the race, and devote their time to lead a new squad for the first 4 months) step down and raise up 2 new squad leaders… It's a time when teams change, it's a a new season.
Well here's my story of my new season…
Nick and I were asked to meet our Squad Leaders Megan and Joshua at the train tracks at 8pm December 1st to pick up some luggage from them… It seemed very sketchy and put me on such edge knowing that team changes are coming up, and having the thought of being squad leader loom over the team leaders heads this month… I walked there pretending that nothing was going on, but knowing the truth that my race could drastically change.
Walking up to Joshua and Megan, seeing them with two envelopes in their hands I didn't know what to do with my face, and at that moment I knew. They handed the envelopes towards us and said that to accept we had to cancel our plans for Saturday. We agreed then they said, ok cool, and walked away. O my gosh! Really?!… Then the envelope said "please open after feedback. Contents are confidential." They couldn't make this process any more gut wrenching.
Walking back I was freaking out, while Nick seemed so cool, calm, and collective. I had my hands on my head not knowing whether to throw up, laugh, cry, run, sit down in a ball… There was a flood of emotions going on.
Later opening the letter it read…
"Christin, woman of God, carrier of grace, love and promise. We have seen you walk into authority and boldness these past 3 months. We believe God is calling you into a new season of your race.
A time to lay down yourself and all that you thought this journey would be.
So we ask you to meet with the Lord tonight in you secret place and prayerfully consider our invitation to step into the role of squad leader. A role that is not ours to give you, but a role that only the Lord can call you into.
Listen for His voice and know He will speak tonight. If this is the calling He has placed on your heart meet us at the train tracks once again at 11:00 am tomorrow morning December 2, 2011."
After reading that I had no words, I just had to sit and rest for a moment. I am so shocked… Honestly, shocked is an understatement. I didn't see this coming at all.
Here are some things I wrote down in my journal…
I'm nervous, excited, scared, but ultimately trusting God. I pray for His peace and affirmation to saturate me. That there will be no thoughts of anxiousness or worthlessness. O my flipping goodness. I didn't even want to be Team Leader and now I'm Squad Leader… What in the world!
Jesus, please affirm this decision. Once again I come to you with all that I am, everything I have, depending on you, and needing you, I can't do this Lord. It's gotta be all you. I'm nervous, but I want to be bold and confident, trusting that you have called me and equipped me for this. Help me to see, and know, and believe who I am in you Lord. Help me to walk in your truth and love. God I trust that even though this is such a shock and surprise to me it's not to you. That you've always had this in mind for me, that you've ordained my steps to be here in this moment Lord. I put my trust and confidence in you.
Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you… Ah sovereign Lord, I said, I do not know how to speak, I am only a child. But the Lord said to me, do not say I am only a child. You must got to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid for I am with you and will rescue you… I have out my words in your mouth."
Lord I trust that your spirit will speak through me. That I don't have to have all the answers because you do. That I don't have to be afraid because you are with me, that I don't have to feel small because you are in me, and greater is he that is in him than he that is in the world. Lord I came on this trip to serve and follow you. I lay down my rights and expectations once again, because this does change a lot of things. But I trust in you and I am excited for what you have prepared for me. I'm excited that you know what's best. I'm excited to serve you and this squad. HERE WE GO!
1 John 3:16
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
God thank you for appointing me to lay down my life for my squad. Thank you for loving me with such an immense, everlasting, pure, powerful, and mighty love, so that I can now love others that way too. Thank you Papa that I know this to be true. I follow you with complete confidence and trust because it's all for you and for your glory, and because you are with me. I know that you are with me, you call me by name, you call me your own, and now you have called me to squad lead.
Thank you for trusting me too lord. Thank you for my life experiences that you have brought me to this point. Thank you for taking care of me, protecting me, equipping me, and choosing me. Thank you for this opportunity to love and serve you more.
So Nick and I met them the next morning at the train tracks where they prayed for us and sent us on the most meaningful scavenger hunt. Where we took off our old coats of Team Leading and put on our new baggy Squad Leading coats.
Then we packed up our packs and came to the Team House which is on the other side of the mountain at one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen! Since its on the other side of the mountain we got to walk down to the beach and watch the sunset which was so special and meaningful! (so this month I ran the beach at sunrise and now I get to end the month with the sunset on the beach). Watching the sunset with my toes in the sand I felt so loved and affirmed by God. There was a complete switch from nerves and shock to complete confidence and excitement.
This is the end of the race as I knew it, but like I said from the very beginning of this journey… HERE WE GO!!!!!!!
Me and Nick
