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At the end of the book Prince Caspian, the 2nd book in the Chronicles of Narnia series, Aslan makes his first appearance to his followers. As all the Talking Beasts and animals greet Aslan with reverence and delight, King Peter makes his way through the crowd with Prince Caspian in tow.

“This is Caspian, Sir.” He said. And Caspian knelt and kissed the Lion’s paw.
“Welcome, Prince.” Said Aslan. “Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?”
“I-I don’t think I do, Sir.” Said Caspian. “I’m only a kid.”
“Good.” said Aslan. “If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been  proof that you were not. Therefore, under us and under the High King, you shall be King of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Emporer of the Lone Islands.

Prince Caspian didn’t have all the credentials he had hoped to have being in this position. He wasn’t able to say yes Aslan, I have so much experience, and I am so skilled, and there is no one better for the job. Instead, he answers “I don’t think so… I’m only a kid.” To which Aslan replies, “good… if you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not.” Aslan didn’t need someone who had their hope in themselves. He needed someone who had their hope in Him and relied on Him. Someone who humbly admitted that they were only sufficient because of Aslan himself.

And this Is where I find myself today. I feel unworthy. I feel unprepared. And I feel unqualified. Yet I have been chosen. At first I passed it off as coincidence, or justified myself into thinking that it wasn’t really from God. But at the end of the day I know it. I feel it in my gut and in my heart and I know, without a doubt, that God has hand picked me.

It all started about a month ago. I was on my way to Kentucky to visit Sarah, and as the plane was landing and I began to pack my book away, I paused to look at my bookmark, a picture of me in the Philippines with Michelle, one of the October world racers, each of us holding one of the babies. I was looking at it and thinking how much I missed those babies, and how I didn’t know how much longer I  could go without seeing them. As I was looking at the picture, I took out my phone to turn it back on, and saw that I had a message. It said something like: “thinking about the Philippines!” I had one of those moments where I looked over my shoulder suspiciously, wondering who would possibly send me that text. It ended up being Renee, a squadmate from the race, who I hadn’t talked to very often since coming home. Weird I thought, why would she send that text.
 
(my bookmark)

Over the course of my time in Kentucky and Florida, I paused to look at the bookmark periodically, thinking about how much I missed the kids. I sent a message to Kim, one of the full time missionaries in Manila, telling her how much I miss the kids and asking her how she’s doing. She responded and told me that in a few months they would be in need of help in the nursery, if I wanted to start support raising now, I could be ready to go in a few months.

Tempting, I though. But still, I was determined on waiting for God’s will. I went out to dinner with Colleen upon returning to California. I decided that I wouldn’t even bring up Manila into our conversation, and that if she did, I would take that as a sign, a nudging from God. So we were talking, about all different kinds of things, and Colleen brings up the Philippines. I laugh to myself but end up deciding that it was a mere coincidence. After all, why wouldn’t she bring up Manila?
 
 

So my mind is still turning in circles, wondering whether God is trying to tell me something about Manila. So just in case, I begin contacting people in Manila about the possibility of joining them. The main contact there, Jeff Long, sends me an email with a really cool idea, and so I texted Colleen and told her I was forwarding her an email to check out that Jeff sent me. She responds saying, “hah, Danny and I were just in the car praying for your future and the Philippines.”

Great! Just great! I guess you could say it was the final straw. It finally pushed me past the denial/justification stage. All of the previous moments where God was trying to get my attention snapped into focus. Individually I could try to chalk it up as coincidence. But when put all together, it  was obvious. God was telling me it was time.
 
 

And it is time. He has spoken and told me that obedience to Him means me packing up my bags and returning to Manila. And now it Is my job to count all else as loss, surrender my rights, my goals, my hopes and plans for the future, and joyfully step into His plans for my future. And that’s exactly what I plan on doing.

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