It’s been 50 days since I arrived back in America, the most recent 22 of which I have actually been back in California. And somehow, it still feels like just last week that I was in Granada, walking through Central Park on my way to find the best wifi in town. I don’t know where the past 2+ months have gone. And despite my love of blogging and the abundance of fast internet, I still have yet to write my final blog for the year or describe how I have been feeling these past few months.
So now, as I am in a plane, traveling to Chicago, I have found what I like to call my “comfortable place.” As it turns out, the best possible blog-writing environment for me is on-the-go. Traveling still feels like home, and so as I do a little state-side traveling, I can finally update all my faithful supporters on where I have been for the past 48 days, what my life looks like now, and to some degree, what the future has in store for me.
In some ways, it seems completely normal to be back, and other times, I feel like I left home (the mission field) to come to some distant land (America) where I don’t understand the local customs or language. The everyday 9 to 5 still has yet to appeal to me, It took me a good three weeks to start flushing toilet paper, I avoid malls and big shopping areas because of the overwhelming amount of options, I’m about to get rid of my cell phone, and whenever something funny/crazy/exciting happens, my first instinct is to tell someone on my team. Let’s just say I haven’t lost all of my world race quirks quite yet.
But first let me backtrack to July 19th….
Saying goodbye to my team was probably about as hard as I thought it would be. I didn’t expect it to be easy; and it wasn’t. They all drove with me to the airport at 3am in the morning and we prayed together one last time as a family, took our favorite “foot picture” and I walked by myself, for the first time in a year, through the terminal. Traveling the rest of the day didn’t get any better. When my feet first hit American soil, I cried. It wasn’t the joyous cry that I had expected I might feel upon arriving, rather a somber feeling that I was back in America, rushing to see my grandma in the hospital, and my team and squad were still together in Nicaragua. In a word, I would describe my re-entry feelings as “anti-climatic.” There was all this build up and excitement about things that we missed during the year: chipotle, starbucks, air-conditioning, target, panera, etc. It’s not that I haven’t been enjoying these things, I am merely pointing out that the build up was more enjoyable than the actual participation.
I arrived in Chicago in the late afternoon and was greeted by my mom and Aunt Billie. Again, the excitement of seeing them was in part overshadowed by the circumstances surrounding our premature reunion. We drove straight to the hospital, where I also saw my dad, sister, and Aunt Ona. And of course, I went straight to my grandma. She couldn’t talk because of the tracheotomy, but she knew I was there, and I knew she was happy to see me. Over the course of the next two weeks, I spent about 80% of my waking hours sitting next to grandma in the hospital. Her condition bounced around a lot, getting better and then getting worse. My family had to return back to their jobs in California and Tennessee, but thankfully, I didn’t have a job to get back to, so I was able to stay with Grandma. (Side note: I also was able to visit some world racers in Florida for a few days as well). On July 31st, my family all flew back to Chicago as Grandma’s condition began to rapidly decrease. The night of the 31st, my mom and I stayed overnight in the hospital room with grandma. Around two in the morning, my dad joined us, and less than an hour later, Grandma passed away, surrounded by family that loved her. The next day was the funeral, and I was asked to give the eulogy. My grandma was one of my best friends, and it was hard to say goodbye to her, but i am thankful for the peace that comes with knowing she is free from pain in the best place possible. I wouldn’t trade my two weeks with Grandma in the hospital room for the world. I am so grateful for every second I was able to be with her after returning from Nicaragua.
I spent the next week beginning to take care of things with the estate, packing up clothes and cleaning out cabinets. My friend Ashley from California also came out to visit and I was able to give her a little taste of Chicago and show her where I grew up. We stayed in Chicago until Tuesday, August 12th, and then we began a 4-day road trip back to California with grandma’s car (now my car). Being that I am used to long travel days, I didn’t mind the driving at all, and I loved getting to see some parts of the states I’ve never been to before. We were also able to meet up with some of Ashley’s family and the Black family who I met on the World Race. I think it was exactly what I needed before going home.
So then came the next big transition: home. SInce being home I have had plenty of down time to visit friends, organize things at home, send out thank you letters, find a job, etc. Now ask me which of those I have actually accomplished. Not many. I don’t know where the days have gone since coming back. I seem to keep myself busy with nonsensical and unnecessary tasks, making sure to avoid the things I actually do need to do, such as writing this blog and sending out thank you notes to supporters (really, coming soon–i hope). Then of course there’s plenty of time to think. Think about where I’ve been, and most often, about where I am going. What the heck am I doing with my life?!? Let me spare you all asking me the frustrating question that is on everyone’s mind: “what’s next?” I heard it when I graduated college, and now I feel like I am back to that same place, beginning my “real” life, needing to figure out where to go from here.
And the answer? I have absolutely NO idea! I really don’t. I feel like the Lord wants me to be at home in California for a chunk of time (no idea how long), but I don’t know what exactly I will be doing in that time. I know a job is somewhat necessary, I know I have a wedding to attend in November in Texas. Other than that, my days are pretty up in the air. So I’m trying to do the opposite of what Christie would normally like to do, and just enjoy the not knowing. Use this time to get things done, spend time with the Lord, visit friends, help out around the house, take the dogs for a walk…. anything really. I don’t want to force something just for the sake of having something to do. What’s the rush anyways? I’m sure life will still be waiting whenever I check back in. Meanwhile, I want to just enjoy where I’m at. Not always easy, usually frustrating, but I’m working on it.
There is one thing, however. One thing that awaits on the horizon. Manila. One of my favorite ministry locations during my time overseas. Jeff Long, the local ministry contact in Manila, asked for some help with the new world race squad that will be in Manila in October. I’m not exactly sure what this entails, but from what I’ve heard so far, it involves Manila, Jeff Long, the World Race, and various logistics. So of course this opportunity has taken over my mind this past week since hearing about it. I want in! Despite my immediate hesitance to jump into this so soon, I feel like the Lord is opening this opportunity for me to go serve for a short period of time in a location that initially caught my heart eight months ago. It would be so easy for me to analyze the heck out of this and weigh the pros and cons and think of a million reasons why I shouldn’t go… but I’m not going to go down that road. My good buddy and teammate Mark Newland recently reminded me of what the real question should be in deciding whether or not to go: why not?
Why not? Well there is only one excuse why not. And I have decided it is not a good enough excuse: money. The ticket cost is roughly $900, and I have less than three weeks to get it all together. I’m not going to lie, this would about empty my savings account. But so what? Maybe that’s what it is there for in the first place. Or maybe, just maybe, God will provide in the same, simple yet amazing way that He always does. So that is what I am counting on. I am counting on it all working out in just the way that God will work it out. Part of this in the past has been through supporters like YOU! I have been blessed this past year with financial donations, big and small, that added up to just about the EXACT amount I needed, including the extra money I needed to fly back a week early to be with my grandma. The Lord provides! He did and He will, and so I humbly ask that you consider being a part of getting me back to the Philippines for the month of October.
If you are able to partner with me in this, you can send money via cash or check to my home at 11392 Magnolia St, Corona, CA 92883, addressed to me, Christie Albaugh. Although I do not know specific information yet, such as the dates I will be gone, I will be sure to update you via this blog as information is acquired and also throughout my journey to the Philippines.
Words cannot express how thankful I am for all the support that I have received over the past year. Your faithfulness has allowed me to go and be a part of something wonderful, something beyond me, yet the Lord is graciously allowing me to be a part of it. And I promise to send out my thank you cards within the next month!!
Thank you and God Bless!
Christie Albaugh
