Early this morning, before my feet had a chance to hit
American soil, I had my first glimpse back into American culture. Midway
through my first flight, I got up to use the bathroom. Since I was seated in
the 5th row, the first row behind first class-and since I saw
someone else from coach return from the front bathrooms-I decided I would also
use the bathrooms in the front of the plane, rather than walk the long aisle
backwards to the other bathrooms. As I began walking forward, a man said, excuse me, and slipped past me headed
towards the bathroom. When he reached the door, he turned to the flight
attendant and asked, this bathroom is for
first class, right? I turned and
looked at the mostly empty four rows of plus leather seats. Then I looked
towards the rear of the plane and noted the two bathrooms reserved for the
other one-hundred and fifty passengers, with a line of people waiting.
With thoughts of disgust and irritation, I decided I would
still wait for the first class bathroom,
and stood there thinking of what I would like to say to the guy. Moments later,
the flight attendant informed me that the line in the back of the plane had
cleared up, and I could go and use that
bathroom. The coach bathroom. The one
reserved for us little people. And so
I turned around and marched my way through a tiny aisle and twenty-nine rows,
counting them angrily as I went.
The rest of the flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about this
situation. I know this guy paid more for his ticket than I did. I know he
bought that huge comfy leather seat-and apparently the right to his own private
bathroom-but I still can’t seem to get past the idea of it all. I’ve visited
the poorest pastors who eat coconuts for every meal because they can’t afford
rice, and yet they are more generous than those people who have plenty to give.
If there is one thing the people we have worked with this year have in common,
it’s generosity. Whether giving us
their house to live in, their food to eat, rides into town, or other various
acts of service, we have often been on the receiving end of sincere acts of
generosity, often in expense to themselves. So to see this man get so worked up
about a non-first class person using their
bathroom, quite honestly, pisses me off.
And then, unfortunately, I got to thinking. I started
thinking about a conversation I had with Brandon
yesterday morning, coming to the realization of how easy it will be to judge
other people as a result of this year. I want to hold everyone to higher
standards. I don’t want to be around materialism, selfishness, pride, greed,
etc. I want people to look at me and see a person, not judge me by my status,
the clothes I’m wearing, or the job I’m working, and then base their generosity
accordingly.
I honestly believe these are valid desires. (And here comes
the but). But… I also need to be
careful about the effects of these desires. Because ironically enough, as I
realized this morning, my frustrations easily turn into judgments, and then I
turn into the person I judged in the first place. This morning, as I quickly
became frustrated with First Class guy,
that frustration turned into judgment, which resulted in pride on my part,
thinking of myself as better than he.
But in all honesty, I’m the same as this guy. I often think
I have rights; that I deserve something for merely being me, I struggle with
selfishness, materialism, greed, pride, and all the other characteristics that
I so easily judge in others. But I’m a work in progress, and I need just as
much grace as the next person (including Mr.
First Class). Spending a year doing overseas missions doesn’t mean I’m a
completed project. I will continue to learn these lessons (probably more times
than I would like) over and over again.
I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be a struggle to not
have high expectations for people and to not judge them according to my past
year. I am truly going to have to humble myself and constantly remember that I
am the same as every person I come into contact with. I am only saved by the
blood of Christ and the grace of God, the same grace that saves everyone else.
And in the meantime, I’ll just stay away from first class. J
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3
