Its been roughly 4 months that I have been on the continent of Africa. Its been 4 months full of incredible experiences as well as great trials. I am completely grateful for the experiences (good and bad), because they have and are shaping me into a better man. I wanted to post this blog for current partners, donors, as well as future partners to get everyone up to speed on what is going on. I will keep this post as short and sweet as possible!
I’m going to briefly take you through the chronology of how I got here. Rewind to before I applied for the World Race… I applied for the trip for many reasons that I listed in “Why Go?”. What I didn’t write was how much the countries of Mozambique and Madagascar played in choosing the route that I chose. In my blog “Why Go?” I mention briefly about an organization called IRIS Global that has a strong presence in the country of Mozambique. In fact, the documentary “Compelled by Love” was what solidified my calling to GO…. During our time in Mozambique I found that my connections with flow of the culture was fluent and in ways easy. I grew close to our ministry Host in Mozambique, as well as the boys we were discipling at the foster home. During this first month God dealt with me about some personal things I had been battling in my life, as well as exposed truth. I quickly realized that Africa is a place that will stretch you past your comfort zone. As God continued stretching my patience and my faith throughout the month I began to wrestle hard with God about Africa and the darkness I was experiencing in Mozambique. After leaving Mozambique, I went to debrief in South Africa and I began to feel a strong pull that I couldn’t quite explain, even now I can’t. It was a gut feeling. Once we arrived in Swaziland things got back to normal you could say and God began to speak to me in other ways… However, as I spent more time around the people of the country I began to fall more deeply in love with their hearts but also began to be deeply compelled by the need for change.
By the time we left Swaziland, the pull to Africa had resurfaced with more urgency than in Mozambique. Our next month in Madagascar proved to be the most fulfilling and fruitful month both personally and in ministry! I had some very hard conversations with people about growth in my life, but also about Gods calling on my life to open a boys home one day. During the course of the month I stayed very busy with our team out in the bush as well as staying active with our large community back at our compound. About a week before we were supposed to leave for Malaysia on March the 8th, I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. To preface this, I have to admit I don’t believe I have ever audibly heard from God. Boom! (I can’t believe I have been a believer most of my life and I am saying this). Anyways, I heard clearly, “Stay”. I immediately questioned what was going on (the pessimist in me). I thought about what I had just heard. I laid in my bed for 30 minutes just staring at the ceiling. Laying there not knowing what to do or say, I asked God… “Stay where”…. I almost immediately heard God say, “Cj, Stay in Africa”….
I didn’t end up sleeping the rest of the night and by the morning I had come to a place of frustration, doubt, and yet a very genuine sense of peace. I was thinking to myself, why in the world would God get me on The World Race only to tell me just before leaving Africa to head to Malaysia, “Oh, by the way I want you to stay in Africa”. It made absolutely no sense to me. Here I am, I have raised all this money to be here, I would love to go do ministry in Asia and Central America. I was on a level 10 quandary with the question of, WHY?…. My immediate response was to talk to a friend. So I talked to several of my close friends on my squad about this. The second thing that came to mind was the logistics of it. I didn’t know where to start. Do I continue on this trip, or do I obey God and stay, and where would I go? What would I do? What about all the money I have raised for this trip?!! What about all the people that were looking forward to following my mission through Asia, and Central America?! The pessimist in me was in full form…. As I processed through these questions over the next couple of days a thought came to mind. This thought revolved around the connection between obedience and faith. These 2 elements that are so foundational to being a believer and walking with Christ… I began to think to myself, “ Dad, I want to obey, and I don’t want to question you, but I am scared and I don’t know if I have the faith to trust that this is what I am supposed to do…”.. I find it pretty wild how our Father, who tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice puts us at times in the most peculiar circumstances, and says, “Trust me, exercise even just a mustard size of faith, and move.”…. I was brought to Luke 17:5. The apostles here are asking Jesus very plainly and directly to increase their faith… Jesus response was pretty amazing. His simple response in v(6) says,
“If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you.” ESV
I began to think about this text, and also about the story where Jesus says the same thing when he healed the boy of demons in Matthew 17:14-20. I was thinking to myself that maybe I am just resistant to obey the voice of God, that I was just questioning it. However, as I prayed I realized… it wasn’t a refusal to obey, it was a lack of faith to do so…. Fear can be so crippling, fear of the unknown, fear of the future, the fear of trusting an unknown future to a known God. Walking by faith is absurd to the logic in us, but ABSOLULTEY necessary to walk with Jesus. Luke 17:5 had just revealed something so timely… This text brought a friendly reminder that following Jesus, obeying Jesus doesn’t require an abundance of faith, it doesn’t even require a moderate amount. To walk with Jesus, we only need the faith that of a mustard seed… I personally love mustard! I use on many things… As I have reflected on Jesus words I have come to understand more and more about what God is doing and has been doing…. Pastor Steven Furtick at Elevation Church said recently (and I paraphrase), “Isn’t it so odd how when we are walking through seasons of life we can’t see what God is doing, that it is usually only after we have walked through it we can see what God was doing, and why it was necessary to walk through”. I realized, after spending 3 months on this trip, that it was necessary for me to be on the race this long, that God had to teach me things about ministry, international missions, and even more importantly, about myself in order to prepare me for what lie ahead…. I said to myself, “Is this really possible?”… As I sat down with my squad leader to discuss this crazy change in direction the logistics of it began to line up. To you who have donated and have been following me, you will know that I left on the Race not being fully funded. I reached the minimum requirement of 10,000 dollars but needed reach just over 17,000 to fund the whole trip. My most pressing concern was what would happen to the money that I raised if I stayed to serve in Africa the rest of the year. As God ordained as it will sound and is, I had just so happened to raise roughly 1,000 short of my second financial deadline. In addition, the money that I had raised had funded just slightly over my expenses for the trip so far!… So in essence, none of the funds for the trip were wasted! When my squad mentor informed me of this, it was more confirmation to me that this was Gods plan from the start… The next issue was, “God, what country? What city?”.
I didn’t quite know where to start. I reached out to some people I knew that worked in Church planting in the Kenyan Assemblies Of God. I made a phone call and as sure as I sit here, my ministry contacts just happened to have a need for someone to come in to work with the coastline churches. They had been praying for God to send someone to help train worship leaders and musicians in various KAG churches along the Kenyan coastline. This was more confirmation, as I am incredibly passionate about Praise&Worship music, as well as the development of stronger worship culture. In addition to that, God also opened up the opportunity for me to work with orphaned and abandoned children through local organizations as well as in the church communities I was asked to teach at. At this point, I had all the confirmation I needed. The only questions left were… “Will I continue to be able to raise support to stay on the field?” and, “Do I have the faith to leave what I know, and obey Gods call?”. Then I quickly realized…. Wait!!!…. You really should only have 1 question, and that is the second one…
God reminded me that if I step out with just a little mustard, just a little… that he would take care of the first question…
I posted this blog primarily for current and future partners to get some insight into the process of this transition. God has provided and given me great favor with the Pastors, and Leaders here in Kenya. The transition has gone very smooth and I am already seeing great fruit from the work God has me doing here! If you would like to be apart of this journey in Africa, please continue to follow me here on my blog! I will continue to make posts here for now. If you have any other questions regarding the transition here, current ministry, or other ways you can help expand resources and the gospel, please, feel free to email me at [email protected]m. I will be quick to reply.
If you would like to donate or partner with me now, please, mail your TAX-DEDUCTIBLE donation to my partnering church in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Please have checks made out to, and sent to Grace Fellowship, P.O. Box 786 Elizabethtown, Ky, 42702. Please add a memo at the bottom of your check for: Christian Goldsmith African Missions.
If you are a new partner, please include a note with your phone number, and email address so I can follow up with you!
Just like The World Race, I will have to meet certain financial deadlines in order to live and work here through the year. I will post that in my video update early this coming week! Also, I am currently working on a pay online method, and will be posting once that becomes available! Please send your prayers to me as this certainly is not the easiest thing I have every done, but it is definitely the most fruitful.
Mungu Akuabariki,
Cj
