This past week I’ve spent a lot of time planning and dreaming, planning and dreaming. Rinse and repeat.
Fundraising events are being sorted out and created, conversations about life without me are being had, immunizations shots are cramping up my arm, and tears are being shed as I plan a life without _______. You name it.
I’m dreaming about living life wrapped in my Father’s arms all while heart-wrenchingly wrapped around the fingers of the fatherless.
It’s heartbreaking and awe-inspiring.
This planning and dreaming, it’s been really messy.
I feel really messy.
I feel all over the place, like a lego woman made of blocks of emotions that keep getting pulled off and reconnected. One minute I’m overwhelmed, the next I’m motivated and excited. One day I’m scared and shut down and the next I’m alive and vibrating with excitement.
I just want to be whole. To be put together and grounded. Feet firm in my next 500 steps of life.
And so I start talking to Him.
And He whispers, ‘But Christi, isn’t this the point?’
He’s right. Of course He’s right.
‘I want you to stop thinking about life like you always have. I want you to be scared, but choose me. I want you to be overwhelmed, but choose me. I want you to BE, and choose me.’
Yes.
This is just the beginning of the ground shaking.
My feet are off the ground.
But I choose Him.
Planning and Dreaming UPDATES:
A HUGE, AWESOME, AMAZING Trivia Fundraiser is planned for Friday, March 20 at Whitetail Ridge Golf Course in Yorkville! Mark your calendars and watch for a Facebook event soon!
ADOPT-A-BOX fundraiser is in progress until February 14. Email me at [email protected] to pick a box from 1-100, donate that number in $$, and be entered to win 1 of 5 prizes!
Also, mostly in my dreaming (rather than planning), I watched a couple of videos. Here’s one from a team that was in India last year. There’s a good chance that a lot of what they are doing is what I’ll be doing. I might have cried. Enjoy!
