In November my entire squad and I did ministry in Nicaragua. We lived and worked with an organization called Vision Nicaragua. The ministry compound had a kitchen, eating area, clinic, a large gym, and several dorm style rooms.
I experienced so much this past month; I don’t even know where to start. Forgive me for taking so long to post this, we had very limited access to wifi.
Our focus last month was door to door evangelism. Everyday, we piled into two ten-ton trucks and headed into remote villages. Some of the villages had less than 100 people living in them. Some had no running water or electricity. Most homes were made out of tarps and sticks. Almost all of them had dirt floors, and farm animals running about.
I was so excited to be doing door to door evangelism, even though the concept was fairly new to me. Sometimes when we entered into peoples’ homes my mind went blank. Other times I couldn’t focus on anything other than the sweat dripping down my face and dirt covering my body. Sometimes it was uncomfortable and I felt awkward. However, every single time the Lord was present. The Holy Spirit was working and walking with us. I know each encounter we had was part of His Divine plan. On the days we didn’t know which direction to go, the Lord always lead us to His children who needed to hear from Him.
The people in Nicaragua are so beautiful. They were always willing to talk with us and hear what we had to say. Often times they invited us into their homes and got up from their chairs so we could sit. Many times they answered, “yes” to our questions, to avoid being rude. I could never write about every encounter I had, but I did find a similar theme between them. People there knew about God and Jesus. They knew He existed, and they knew He had a lot to offer. However, they were not willing or ready to accept Him until they “fixed themselves” or “got their lives together.” I’m not sure where that misconception of the Gospel stemmed from, but it breaks my heart.
One day we met a woman who lived with her 5-month-old daughter. I thought she was in her late twenties, but she was only 17! She shared she can’t accept Jesus until she marries her daughter’s father. I asked her where that idea came from, and she said that’s just how she felt. I explained to her that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, we don’t have to perform for Him, and all the sins we have and will commit are already forgiven. It was hard to hear someone so young feel so guilty, and unworthy of God’s love. Just as I mentioned before, the Lord was present in this place. We asked if we could pray for her and she said, “Pray that the Lord changes my mind and heart about feeling this way.” What a beautiful thing to ask for! I have full confidence the Holy Spirit will provide clarity and understanding of God’s unconditional love.
This was her home.
A few weeks ago we were walking through a village inviting kids to come to our kids service we were having in 30 minutes. It started to pour and the dirt roads became muddy swamps. One gentleman welcomed our group into his home to wait until the rain passed. When I stepped inside his tiny two room home made of tin I felt the air leave my lungs. Inside was a man laying on a thin blanket on the floor. He was extremely thin and physically and mentally handicapped. This man didn’t even have a mat to lay on, and appeared to be in a lot of pain. It was a moment I will never forget, crammed inside this house feeling completely helpless. We started talking to the father about Jesus and shared God’s love for His children. We asked if we could pray for his family, and the father asked that we pray for healing for his son. After we prayed, all I wanted was to open my eyes and see a strong, healthy man standing before me. I mean, that’s what God would want too, right? I thought, “If God says ask and you will receive, and truly loves His children, this man would be healed.” He wasn’t…and I walked out of that house completely numb.
What do we do when God doesn’t heal? This is something I’ve wrestled with all month. I’ve seen precious children suffering from pneumonia with no access to medical care. I’ve seen adults suffering from illnesses that can easily be corrected with surgery. It doesn’t seem fair, and a lot of times it doesn’t make sense. I know the enemy saw my confusion as an opportunity to lie to me. I started thinking, “do my prayers even matter?” “did I do it wrong, or was my heart not in the right place?” “why does a loving God allow these things to happen?”
Thankfully we serve a God that doesn’t get upset with us when we question His goodness. Instead, He graciously provides clarity through His Holy Spirit, and peace when we can’t comprehend His plan.
The Lord taught me three extremely important lessons last month:
1. When we pray for healing, it is done, even if it doesn’t manifest itself in the way we think it should. For example, sometimes the Lord calling someone to Heaven when they are sick is how He heals. Other times we won’t see the healing happen. If I pray and the outcome is different than I expected, that means I’m more focused on the healing, rather than the Healer.
2. God is either sovereign or He’s not. We can’t pick and choose when we want to believe He is good and has a plan that surpasses all understanding. The Bible even warns about being lukewarm with our faith. Sometimes I try to level with God and think I know best. However, God is a loving and Sovereign Father. This means we can rest in all circumstances, knowing the One who is all knowing and all powerful is in control.
3. Materials don’t equal happiness. Sometimes I wanted to cry at the lack of belongings people had. The Lord was quick to remind me that those who have Him in their hearts are wealthier than anyone else.
As a whole, this month was so wonderful. Our team shared the love of Christ with so many, and several people accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior! I’ll never forget leading a 10 year old to Christ right outside her home! The pastors we worked with do an amazing job of reaching the communities. Almost every village had a church nearby, and if they didn’t, one was in the making. God is doing incredible things in Nicaragua and I’m so blessed to have been able to partner with Him in bringing Kingdom to earth.
This is Luis. He accepted Jesus five years ago!
All it takes is God’s love and some leaves!
This woman loves the Lord and has the kindest soul I’ve ever seen.
Love these kiddos!
God is so good you guys! Thank you to everyone who has supported me through prayers and finances. I only have $2,000 left to raise until I’m fully funded! WHAT THE WHAT!
Love you all!
Christen
