This really is the question I am asking myself now that I am at the end of the month.
What really happened this month? What did I do? What was ministry?
Week 1: Getting adjusted to Chiangmai with a city tour and cultural orientation. Rest days. Waiting to go to the village, but doctor's visits from teammates kept pushing it back. So, more free time. This week was hard. Too much free time and I did not use my time well.
Week 2: Went to the village (which was more like a small town than a village compared to what "village life" actually was in Nepal). Ministry was supposed to be helping build a house, however, the men did not need that much help. Our translator was sick and so we couldn't communicate verbally with anyone. More idle time, but this time in a peaceful town surrounded by gorgeous mountains. Lots of bonding with my teammates.
Week 3: Back in Chiangmai and were supposed to help at the University, but another team took this. So we were at a place where we were to each ask God what He wanted that week to be for us. For me, I felt God was telling me to take the time (and internet) to minister to people back home and to work on fundraising. So I took the time to talk to my family more and get in touch with some good friends and do some fundraising work. I feel very connected to home right now. I don't feel so far away. What a blessing.
For a lot of girls, this month was about the girls in the sex trafficking industry. I had the opportunity to go out to the bars if I wanted, but every time it was an opportunity, I just didn't feel right about it. I knew it wasn't my time. What was my month used for, then?
To completely understand and know that I am worthy.
That I am worthy of spending money on myself. I am worthy of praying big prayers. I am worthy of asking my teammates to borrow things. I am worthy of having a teammate sit with me and hold my hand during a hard conversation. I am worthy of asking that teammate to get up early and be with me during that conversation. I am worthy of saying that I don't want to be a treasurer because it is unnecessarily stressing me out right now. I am worthy of telling my teammates what I need physically and emotionally. I am worthy of taking a morning off of ministry to be with God. I am worthy of asking a teammate to pray for me.
This month was about me. My self-worth. When I saw the women in front of the bars trying to sell themselves, my heart broke because I understood their feelings of unworthiness. I realize that God needed to show me how worthy I was before I tried telling other women that.
So that was my month. A month for me because I am worth it. 🙂
