I knew we would have internet, hot showers, a pool, beds and american food. All of which sounds wonderful coming from a month of difficult food and sleeping in tents and having bucket showers. I won't lie, it was nice to have all of these luxuries for a week. But I want to shed some light on you with how it effected me.
I have been EXTREMELY selfish this week. I have been going on the internet when I want to and using the time for as long as I needed. I did not ask others what they were trying to do and if they had a stronger need for the internet..
I took a hot shower when I needed and wanted and didn't think about how long I was taking in the bathroom I was sharing with 8 other girls.
I found myself thinking of food a lot more often and thinking I needed more and that I deserved more.
I found myself making a list of all of the things I needed to do instead of making a list of all of the things that other people or God needed me to do.
I found myself not making the effort to talk to people on an individual basis and care for their emotions or for their spirit.
I have been selfish. What is so cazy is that this is how I have lived my whole life. It isn't wrong, but God is giving me a time to make some decisions.
Last month, all of my luxuries were taken away and the only thing I had to rely on was God. This week all of my old luxuries were available again and God was giving me choices. I could choose to revert back to what I knew or to change. I did both of these plenty of times this week, but I wnat to be different.
I want to end this race a different person than I started and seeking change and challenges is the way to do it. I am asking God continually to challenge and push me to help me walk into the daughter He has created me to be.
Tomorrow we leave our hostel here and will be going to Swaziland. I will be with two other teams in Manzinee, Swaziland. We will either be doing hospital, childrens or sports ministry. I am not really sure what any of that means, but that is what I know.
Next month, I am looking forward to learning more about myself and the daughter that I am. I know God has big plans for me and my team.
I love you all and I challenge you all to take a step back and look at the choices you are making on a daily basis.
Is there anything else you could be doing to bring more life to yourself and those around you today? What are your daily distractions?
