The Art of Discernment
Have you ever wondered what God wanted you to do in your life? Not what you wanted to do, but what God wanted you to do? This has been my curiosity for the past year. I would like to take you on a journey. Not just a journey of my travels, but a journey of discernment. A journey of trying to do what God wants in His timing.
Last Fall when I started my ministry work with Youth Encounter I told myself and God that I was open to whatever God wanted me to do after Youth Encounter. After doing two unplanned years of volunteering, I had no idea what God wanted me to do next. Instead of being worried about it, I decided I would just trust that God would show me. I never would have thought that he would take me down the path he did to get me to understand my next step.
After being on the road for a little over a month, we were visiting Brown Deer, WI and I found out about The World Race. I watched the promotional video and I was hooked. The next week I was reading someone’s blog on the race and I almost threw the computer on the ground because I thought God was speaking directly to me in that blog. I have never experienced so many signs at once from God before. After that night, I started looking into the organization, applied and at the end of December was accepted. After some of the hardest conversations with friends and family, in the beginning of December I accepted to travel to 11 underdeveloped countries in 11 months starting in September. Even though it was a difficult thing to decide, I was SO happy to know what I was doing next. I loved telling people what I was doing and having that confidence in where God wanted me.
Shortly after I accepted the race in January, my team and I traveled to Ukraine. While overseas, I told myself I would take this time to focus on my current ministry and then once I was back in the United States in May, I would concentrate on the World Race. Well, all of January and February, I really did not have the excitement about the World Race as I thought I would. However, I just brushed it off and thought God would give me that time and that mindset when it was needed.
In March, we traveled to Germany and there was where everything changed. I started getting these signs that God wanted me to be a missionary and possibly not on the World Race. I was enjoying getting to know more German and understanding that culture more. One weekend, we were visiting the American church in Berlin and I heard God say I should be a missionary in Germany. I did not really believe it because I was already signed up to do the World Race. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that was what I was supposed to do. Even though it was confusing to me that God would call me to one thing and then call me to something else, I was confident in what He was telling me. So I obeyed and told the World Race I would not be traveling with them in September and that I was pursuing missionary work in Germany.
The way I was going to be a missionary was by being an Au Pair in Berlin and then doing mission work on the side. That was my plan and I pursued it. I found an organization, I had an interview while I was still in Germany and I was looking for families in the summer. Again, I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do.
In June, I knew I was not doing the race and I was looking for Au Pair families in Berlin. Thinking God was calling me to Berlin specifically, it was a challenge to find a family. Nothing seemed to be working out. However, at the end of June, I felt disconnected to the Au Pair organization and the idea of being a missionary in Germany. I felt God was calling me to the World Race again. At this point of the year hearing this and thinking this, I was SOO confused. I had no idea why God would have put me through seven months of discernment and confusion to come back to what was originally planned.
All was made clear to me during a national Youth Encounter weekend event/retreat for high school students called IMPACT. One night while we were at a worship session, I heard God’s voice speaking to me so clearly. He told me that I was supposed to be doing the World Race and not go to Germany. That the reason I was supposed to be a missionary in Germany was to share my faith with the women at the Au Pair organization. I wondered, “what am I supposed to do in an e-mail to them? Share the gospel? Give my testimony?”. I was not sure.
God placed Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” on my heart for this organization. I e-mailed the organization and shared some of my plans with them and this verse. Ironically, the two women I thought might read this e-mail were not the ones who read it, but another woman taking over for that one week. I wonder what God needed that one woman to hear in my message or who He wanted to read that e-mail.
After all of that, I talked to the World Race and explained everything. After some more praying and discerning, I decided to do the World Race starting in January. I will be traveling to 11 different countries in 11 months. The countries are India, Thailand, Vietnam, Nepal, Cambodia, South Africa, Mozambique, Swaziland, Moldova, Vietnam and Malaysia. I have never experienced a calling like this before, but something tells me it will not be the first time God calls me like this again. I learned to trust God a LOT this year by going through this. I am very excited to see what He shows me next year for my future plans. I can’t even imagine what He has in store for me.
