Four month Squad Debrief meant a lot of things. It meant processing the first four months of the race, saying goodbye to the old Squad Leaders and initiating the new and four days of acting like tourists in Siem Reap, Cambodia.
My unofficial “to-do” list was comprised of taking full advantage of the hotel and its amenities, visiting Angkor Wat and spending time with the squad. While I accomplished each of those things, God also took my mini-vacation and turned it into another opportunity to show me how blessed I am to have Him as a Father.
Two conversations. Two men. Two identical answers.
Our statement and question: “Yes, we believe in Jesus. What do you believe in?”
The answer: “I believe in myself.”
It was the second time in two days that I had heard those exact words in response to our question. First from James, the Khmer fish tank massage man, and then from Mr. Hong, the Khmer tuk tuk driver. They were two unrelated and unconnected men. They had two very different stories, yet they had the exact same answer to this open-ended question.
While Buddhism is the main religion in Cambodia, in reality most people are just worshipping themselves. After hearing James and Mr. Hong speak about how they find their hope in working hard and making money, all I could think was how thankful I am that I have more to believe in than myself. How I’d be in real trouble if all I had was what my two hands could provide. How limited I would be if I had to live solely on my own strength. How a lot of times what keeps me going is knowing that Jesus is there guiding me. How I don't have to have a plan because He has already made the perfect one for me.
James asked if believing in God meant that he could ask God for a million dollars and He would give it to him. He also asked if he were on a sinking ship could God save him. Our response to both was, “if it’s His will.” God isn't about pleasing us. God is ultimately about God. It’s through worshipping him that He leads us to joy and freedom. God saves. God saved us when he sacrificed His Son for us. God saves us when we realize that He is offering us the keys to the Kingdom. God continues to save us each day when we seek Him and not ourselves.
I love that what began as three women on an unknown adventure ended with buying food for two kids and sharing Jesus with a man who works at a fish massage tank. I love that what began as 4 friends on a tuk tuk ride to Angkor Wat ended at a Mexican restaurant where we had lunch and a conversation about Jesus with our tuk tuk driver. I love the way God teaches me when I least expect it. I love how even when I technically have “days off” from ministry that God still ministers through and to me.
