As I enter into a new season of blog posts, and exit my mini-series of “Reveal:______”, I find myself in a new season of growth and sharpening here on this crazy adventure called the World Race. It’s appropriate to enter into a new season, as we are about to experience our second major transition, Europe to Africa. I love the symbolism of transition. Moving from one place to another; God is busy in doing just that in our lives all the time. Transitioning us from who we used to be, into His perfect image. This also applies to how we transition from one season of our faith into another, and experience a new set of triumphs and challenges.
God has been speaking powerfully to me through three songs that I’ve recently stumbled upon:
“Through Your Eyes” by Britt Nicole
“Fierce” by Jesus Culture
“You Are Loved” by Stars Go Dim
This past month my team and I have been living in Shtip (pronounced Shteep), Macedonia. We’ve been staying at one of the evangelical churches, and have gotten to interact with a group of recovering drug addicts. These guys are incredible. They exemplify what it means to pursue Jesus and leave behind the desires of the flesh and the world, and fiercely embrace the desires of the Holy Spirit living inside them. They live with the effects of having used drugs for many years, but they also more evidently live with the effects of God’s transformative grace in their lives. Our interactions with this group of dudes are always full of laughter and goofing around, as well as the sharing of life experiences and stories of God’s goodness in our lives. I have learned to a much greater extend what it means to live freely and lightly.
The terrain of the region in and around Shtip is quite mountainous, and one of the first things we noticed when we arrived was a cross at the top of one of the nearby mountains. I made it a point to jog to that cross one morning and I received a few revelations along the way, including when I got to the top. My first realization was how out of shape I am was; running up a winding road to the top of a mountain is not child’s play – I almost didn’t make it. The second thing I noticed was how incredibly beautiful this region is when you can see most of it from a high vantage point. These lands were home to some of the early believers in our modern church, and I couldn’t help but wonder what went through the minds of those believers 2,000 years ago when they looked out over this region. The third revelation was how simple yet potent is the symbolism of running to the cross. Sure, I was literally running to the cross here in Shtip, but how important it is to spiritually run to the cross every day; to abide in the Lord (John 15). It was such a blissful reminder of how each day should look for those who claim to follow Christ – run to the cross. The fourth revelation I received came when I was standing next to the cross at the top of the mountain, panting for breath and sweating up a storm. It was morning, but still hot, so I instinctively stood in the shadows to escape the heat of the sun. I realized that the shadow I was standing in was the shadow of the cross, and this cross was roughly 20 feet tall. Boom. It was in the shadow of the cross that allowed me to take refuge from the heat of the day, and find rest for my overheated body. Another incredible reminder of how each day should look, and what’s available to us when the storms and trials of life rise up. Hebrews 4:1-13 (this is good stuff). The fifth revelation was a message, a message relaying that God is beginning some new things in my life. For so long I have prayed for healing, and have received so much of it, but God is now beginning to transform. Heal – fix the foundation, seal the cracks, strengthen – and now to continue building on that foundation. Transformation, or sanctification (1 Thessalonians 5:23). To be sanctified is to be set apart as holy. Sanctification is the ongoing process of being made holy (1 Peter 1:13-25).
So, God has been healing my heart from the many wounds of my past and has broken damaging agreements I’ve made within myself, and now has begun the work of transforming my heart. This is when things really get exciting, because with transformation comes clarity in calling. I’ve seen so so much of God’s favor this month, and I truly believe that part of that is due to me laying down some desires, desires that are not bad by any means, but it is simply the wrong time for those desires. I’ve experienced more than I ever have before the power of connecting with people on deep levels and being used by the Holy Spirit as an instrument of righteousness (Romans 6:13) to speak deep and joyful truth into the lives of others. O my soul I’ve seen incredible amounts of fruit come out of the ministry our team has stepped in to, but also from the personal ministry that God has called me to this month. There is a renewed boldness that has been infused into my life that has empowered me to step into situations that I previously would have shied away from, and instead walk into them with God’s anointing to usher life and truth everywhere I go (2 Timothy 1:6-7). There is a freedom that stems from a deeper understanding that it’s not me, but the Holy Spirit in me that is at work (Galatians 2:20), and so I can enter any and every situation knowing that the pressure is not on my shoulders to say and/or do the right things, but to simply allow the Holy Spirit to take over and follow His promptings. This has been a huge revelation for me.
There have been moments when God has graciously shown me that there is still a lot of room for growth in my heart. There are times when I get irritated and frustrated at circumstances and find myself in a world of selfishness and want nothing more than to pull away and withdraw from the sometimes painful process of being sanctified. Being a rather extreme introvert, I oftentimes fight for my alone time. There have been moments this month when I began seeing certain people as enemies as they continued to talk and talk and talk during moments when I desperately wanted to be alone and recharge. I felt like I was being held hostage during some of these conversations. God has shown me that it’s in those moments that He wants to begin where I end. The end of me, or the end of my energy and strength and patience, is the beginning of Him, and His strength and energy. It’s in those moments when God can shine brightest in and through me. We have such a finite time here on this earth, and we should not be stingy with the time given us to accomplish the plans and desires that God has for us. I have seen and discovered that when I press in during the moments that I most want to pull away and withdraw that God performs some of the most amazing miracles in and through me, and uses me most powerfully when I resist the desires of my flesh and selfishness, and choose what He wants.
Matthew 16:24-27:
“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.’ “
There is still a lot of ugliness underneath the surface of my life, there is still a lot of brokenness and sin, but God is constructing something amazing out of all of it and is sanctifying me, and it all points to Jesus and is credited to Jesus. There is so much more I want to share, but I will leave it at this for now.
Before we transition to Africa, we will have our third time of debrief in Bulgaria for a few days. Please pray that this time would be used wisely to find rest and to reflect and prepare for all that lies ahead in the fourth quarter of this World Race journey. I know there is still so much more to experience before returning home.
A few days ago, we had a time of listening prayer for the other people on our team. The teammate that was praying for me shared afterwards that she had a vision of me in a desert land, walking mostly on the path that the Lord has paved for me to walk in, but that I often wander to and fro from this path. She shared the words “Intentionally pursue” the Lord. This is a message that I received all the way back in January: pursue the Lord, intentionally pursue. Please join me in praying for this to happen in my life, to intentionally pursue the Lord and all that He has for me, and to walk directly along the path that has been paved for me, not wandering to and fro from it.
