I can’t sleep. It’s 12:30am, I must sleep; but earlier tonight I had the sudden realization that in just a little over three months from now I will actually be leaving. After that realization entered my mind, I prepared to go to bed and snuggled in for the night, only to lay there for an hour, trying in vain to get my mind to SHUT UP! (Why does my mind NEVER listen to that particular instruction???)
After dreaming, every day for FIVE years, about going on a World Race, I will at long last be going. It’s almost here!!! I will be leaving behind my beloved family and friends to journey around the world making more family and friends. (You know how cool it is to know that I will have friends in 11 countries?!)
My mind whirs beyond control when I actually think about the journey I am preparing for. Everything I need to do to get my business ready to run without me. Getting myself ready for training camp. Getting myself ready for the race. Preparing my body for camp AND the race. Trying to not panic over funds. Panicking over funds. Sitting in a stupor, just trying to take it all in. Laying in bed at night, trying to NOT think about the massive amount of things I need to accomplish in the next few months, as my mind rebelliously continues to think about the massive amount of things I need to accomplish in the next few months.
Seriously. I don’t even have the clothes for this trip.
I recently discovered that I’m capable of funding myself, (another tremendous dream-come-true for me!) only to have a rather huge business expense loom up in front of me, and an early after-Christmas drop off. It was such a relief to not have to concern myself with fundraising, and now I wonder if that is still something I must make happen. Or perhaps I’m just being tested in some way…?
Too many thoughts. Way too many thoughts.
I guess I’m hoping that by writing this all down it will help me work through it. But I also owe you all an update. You, my dear friends and family whom I will miss so very much. I haven’t even left yet, and I’m already looking forward to getting back and seeing you all for the first time in 11 months haha! I’m so sentimental! I want to keep in the habit of blogging, so that I can keep you with me in some way.
Not too long ago, I changed my laptop wallpaper to a picture that sates: “Where God guides, He provides.” Such an important truth at this time. There is so much I need to acquire for this journey; funds being at the top of the list. But He keeps reminding me that He has guided me all this time. How would He NOT provide? I’m sure He’s got me covered!
I look forward to telling you amazing storied of His provision in my future posts.
Much love and blessings,
Chloe
